An Ode to Ove
No one ever said a book about a grumpy old man and his attempted suicide could be comforting. No one. But this morning I’ll tell you about one that is. This is my ode to A Man Called Ove.
I remember the first time I heard about A Man Called Ove. It was around 2018 when an Instagram friend gushed over how much she adored it. I remember reading the book description and feeling two responses: “Weird” and “Not for me”.
Soon after, I saw a lot of hype about Ove. It seemed like everyone was reading and loving it. I didn’t get it. I didn’t want to. I was going through something painful during those years—losing my mother, trying to figure out what life was like without her, trying navigate a relationship with my dad that didn’t include my mom. The last thing I wanted to read about was a miserable, grumpy old man.
I wasn’t ready.
In 2022, Tom Hanks starred in the English movie version A Man Called Otto. I didn’t watch it (still haven’t and probably never will, maybe only because they changed his name from Ove to Otto for the movie and he would definitely hate that). But the next time I saw Ove in a bookshop, I paused and thought “Not yet, but maybe one day”.
Then, at the end of this summer, while moving my son into the dorm for his sophomore year of college, I slipped into the used bookstore just like I always do when I’m in the big city. And for whatever reason, as soon as I saw A Man Called Ove on the shelf that day, I knew it was there for me. So, I paid the man my $8 (aren’t used bookstores the best) and here we are.
I loved this book from the very first page.
I laughed out loud through the entire first chapter “A Man Called Ove Buys a Computer That is not a Computer”. I gained an incredible new depth of awe and gratitude through chapter 14 “A Man Who Was Ove and a Woman On a Train”. The tears started around chapter 24 “A Man Called Ove and a Brat Who Draws in Color”. And my pace became slower and slower around chapter 30 “A Man Called Ove and a Society Without Him” because I was desperate for the book not to end.
Neil Gaiman said this about fiction ⤵
“Fiction gives us empathy: it puts us inside the minds of other people, gives us the gifts of seeing the world through their eyes.
Fiction is a lie that tells us true things, over and over.”
―Neil Gaiman
Ann Patchett agrees ⤵
“Reading fiction is important. It is a vital means of imagining a life other than our own, which in turn makes us more empathetic beings.
Following complex story lines stretches our brains beyond the 140 characters of sound-bite thinking,
and staying within the world of a novel gives us the ability to be quiet and alone,
two skills that are disappearing faster than the polar icecaps.” – Ann Patchett
I can’t think of better words to describe why I have loved reading A Man Called Ove so much. Reading it has been like traveling to Sweden, buying a Saab, moving into the row house across from Parvaneh and Patrick, and watching the evolution and redemption of a man called Ove firsthand.
Except WAY better.
Because I got to do all of this a little each night from the comfort of my own bed. And also because I got to be inside the mind of Ove instead of watching, listening, and judging from the outside. Immersed in Ove’s perspective, I was able to see things in a way I never would have otherwise.
A lot of people tell me they can tell I’ve been through stuff because I treat people gently. I’m careful around topics I know can be trauma triggers. I’m grateful for that. But I get it wrong a lot of the time, too. I discount people I don’t understand. I miss out on a lot that way.
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Reading A Man Called Ove reminded me of a few big truths⤵
#1 — We never know what someone else might be going through at any given moment.
We never know exactly what a person has been through or is going through right now that’s causing them to act the way they do unless we’ve been right there with them their whole life. Even then, we can’t really know what another person goes through in their own mind. That’s why it’s so dangerous to judge. It’s why we miss the boat in so many interactions and relationships. We just don’t know what’s going on with a person. It’s why we have to ask and listen if we want to know. And keep asking and listening day after day. Even then, we’ll never know it all.
#2 — We can make big change happen just by showing up and being ourselves.
We have no idea how many lives we save day after day by opening our lives to the people around us. The friend you text every few days or so. The neighbor you stop to chat with every morning. The cashier at your favorite shop you’ve become friends with over time. The lonely old man down the street you feel like you’re bothering every time you ask to borrow a hammer or help you fix your bike. Simple interactions make a big difference. They can even save someone’s life. (& that’s not hyperbole or exaggeration)
💛
These reminders seem especially timely right now — especially for those of us living in a country going through a divisive election season when it’s becoming increasingly easier to demonize anyone who disagrees with our own beliefs and opinions. (I’m talking to myself here as I continually find myself shaking my head and saying “How could any sane, decent person vote for that guy?!”) We don’t know what people have gone through that’s led them here. We really can’t judge so harshly. We can make big change happen— in our hearts and lives and in theirs, too—when we show up and be ourselves.
In case you’d like another perspective, here are a few descriptions from A Man Called Ove‘s Bookshop.org page ⤵
"Readers seeking feel-good tales with a message will rave about the rantings of this solitary old man with a singular outlook.
If there was an award for 'Most Charming Book of the Year, ' this first novel by a Swedish blogger-turned-overnight-sensation would win hands down."
-- "Booklist, Starred Review"
"You will laugh, you will cry, as his heartbreaking story unfolds through the diverse cast of characters that enter his life, all uninvited.
You will never look at the grumpy people who come into your life in quite the same way. A very memorable read."
-- "San Diego Union Tribune, Best Books of 2015"
This is a book I’ll read again and again.
Now I’m off to find a trail in the woods where I can lose myself in the fall leaves and the sound of my own two feet pounding the earth. (The fall colors are amazing in Maine right now and it’s been over a month since I’ve been on any trail at all, so I’m desperate for a decent trek!) Whatever’s going on in your world today, I hope you know you’ve got all kinds of love coming your way from me.
Email me anytime you’d like a listening ear.
I’m here.
💛
Celeste