Faith Wounds, Cancer, & a Book That Helps a Little
Church and Cancer are two things that have brought a lot of pain to a lot of people. Two things that cut me and my family so deeply years ago that I’m still working out my recovery and trying not to let it ruin us. Two things I rarely talk about and almost never write about.
Also two things candidly, creatively, beautifully tackled in a book my friend Kristen politely, lovingly gifted to me this summer — a book that has since brought a lot of healing to me.
I still remember her gentle words as she handed it to me:
“This may be too close to home for you but I just finished it and thought I might leave it for you just in case.”
(I still get teary remembering that loving sentence.)
It was Kate Bowler’s book Everything Happens for a Reason And Other Lies I’ve Believed.
Truthfully, the book was too close to home for me. The preface starts with:
“There’s a branch of Christianity that promises a cure for tragedy”
and then
“I don’t believe that anymore. One moment I was a regular person with regular problems. And the next, I was someone with cancer”.
It made me remember that time I foolishly told a friend, “If we could just help people believe in healing, no one would have cancer” and then proceeded to watch my own mom’s stage four diagnosis, 5 years of immense suffering, and her eventual excruciating death despite her (and my) unfailing, stubborn belief that she would get better.
It also made me remember all the hurtful things well-meaning people (myself included) did and said while she was suffering and after her death —and how broken I’ve been ever since.
How much I wish I could go back and change.
How much I wish I’d known then.
But whereas I usually slam shut books on these topics and toss them in the donate pile, I devoured this one.
Something about her honesty opened me up.
Especially as she shares experiences so much like mine and my family’s like these:
“Even when I was still in the hospital, a neighbor came to the door and told my husband that everything happens for a reason.”
I not only devoured it, I dog-eared page after page, underlined whole sections, and wrote notes in the margins. Then I hopped online and ordered the book she wrote as a follow-up.
It won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but it might be yours.
If you’ve ever had an experience with church or cancer (or both) that cut you to the point where you’ve given up healing those wounds completely but you still hope (just a little bit) that you might find at least some resolution someday, you might want to grab a copy.
It’s a beautiful book.
The author’s voice almost sounds like my mom’s (she had the same type of cancer as my mom and suffered a similar set of treatments but her immunotherapy worked whereas my mom’s didn’t).
She talks about how faith can exist separately from prosperity gospel devotion and fundamentalism. She also talks about how God might still be real and might still love all of us despite not healing us when we command Him to.
It healed parts of me I didn’t know could be healed in this life.
To be clear, I’m still working on it, but this book gave me a good nudge towards hope — a nudge I wasn’t expecting but I’m incredibly thankful for.
So now I’ll say my friend’s words to you ⤵⤵ ⤵
“This may be too close to home for you but I just finished it and thought I might leave it for you just in case.”
If faith wounds or cancer have broken parts of you, I hope it helps a little.
Here’s where you can find out more about Kate Bowler’s book Everything Happens for a Reason And Other Lies I’ve Believed.
And if you’d like, come over to the email group afterward to chat.
I’ll see you there!