How to Keep Mom Guilt from Sabotaging Family Togetherness

Last weekend while hiking with my crew, I ran into our old librarian. We caught each other up on where we'd been the last two years and how life is shaping up post-COVID. Then she asked the question everyone asks when I tell them we're not traveling full-time anymore: "So your boys are at the high school now, right?"

I get it - it's a natural thing to wonder about. I also get why people are confused when my answer to that question is no.

People like boxes; it's confusing when someone doesn't fit neatly inside them.

But some of us never fit inside the boxes.

That’s been me and my family for a long, long time now, so you’d think I’d be used to awkward exchanges about it.

Still, the mom guilt that followed me around after that exchange - the same mom guilt that always follows questions like those - almost sabotaged family togetherness in my world this week.

I felt myself getting cranky. I woke up at 3 am worrying over and over again. I saw myself getting short with the people I love and missing opportunities to be fully present with them because of what was going on inside my head. A true recipe for family togetherness sabotage.

So I called on a few of my go-to solutions to make sure that didn’t happen.

If your out-of-the-box life confuses the people you love sometimes, too, here’s how to keep the mom guilt from sabotaging your family togetherness:

I hope it encourages you.

#1 - Remind yourself what’s true.

When someone reminds you how different you are, it can be easy to forget why you started down your own path in the first place and what has transpired since. Open up old journals. Go through old photographs. Remind yourself how far you’ve come. Make sure you’re rejecting that kryptonite called comparison.

#2 - Look at all the options.

It’s always good to check yourself and make sure you’re still on the best path. Take some time to think about what life would be like if you chose a different path. Play the scenario all the way out in your mind (or on paper) and ask yourself why you’re choosing the new path, what it would achieve, and what you would be giving up to get it. Some big life changes work out and some don’t - never limit yourself with only what you know right now. Options are there - see them.

#3 - Recognize the season.

Is there something going on right now that’s out of the norm? Do you tend to feel this way every year around this time? Could there possibly be some other reason you’re questioning your life choices right now? Acknowledge it. Record it. Feel it. Lean into the season you’re in. Then you can move on.

#4 - Get wise.

Dive into the research on the topic. Watch two people debate on video online or in a forum. Write your heart out and argue with yourself over it. Stick your nose in a good book about it. Somehow seeing it all on paper makes a world of difference.

And whatever you do, stay you - the world needs you. Your family needs you to be you.

Be the you-est you there is.

Did this list encourage you to keep being your very own out-of-the-box flavor?

I’d love for you to share it with the social links below or hop into the email group and let me know.

I’ll see you over there!