How to Keep Your Heart Thankful Long after the Pumpkin Pie is Gone

The pumpkin pie is nearly gone at my house, but my heart still isn't as thankful as it should be...

I know I should be thankful.

I know I have so much to be thankful for.

I know that thankfulness is so important when it comes to building connection with our families.

I also know that it's not the happy people in this world who are thankful but the thankful people who are happy, along with so many other wise words I've used for years to help people who aren't seeing their many blessings.

But two big blows have come my way in the last couple of weeks, leaving me shaken to my core. So today, I'm having to fight to feel thankful, and I'm just not quite there yet.

Maybe you can relate?

I will get that thankful heart - don't you worry - but first, a little bit about what happened.

The first blow was to me personally - an email waiting in my inbox from my graduate school advisor informing me that the thesis project I had invested a year into had a major analysis flaw she failed to see until a few short weeks before the due date, leaving me with mounds of work to re-do and the realization that my dreams of publication were toast. I won't go into details on the pity party I had for myself that day, but trust me - it was ugly - and it ended with me under a fuzzy blanket in the middle of the day creating a pool of tears on my bed. Thankfully, the pity party only lasted about 10 minutes, but the impact on my heart is still there today.

Then, just a few days later, the big blow came. "I just feel weird" is definitely not what anyone wants to hear from the husband she loves more than life itself, especially if that weird feeling has been increasing for more than a few weeks. A few doctor's visits and a quickly-scheduled surgery later, and then we were hearing words we never thought we'd hear: "There's only about a 1% chance this isn't cancer." But I was the one who fell apart - not him - and then I was the one dealing with guilt for not being strong enough, for not dealing with this well enough, for being so selfish. Thankfully that nasty c-word is now removed from his body and the doctors say we have no reason to think it's present anywhere else because of how soon he got to a doctor (we're sticking around for several more tests just to be sure). But he's still recovering physically and we're all still recovering emotionally. And even though I know I'm especially struggling because I'm really still recovering from losing my mom to that nasty c-word just 13 months ago and dealing with the disappointment that we're not able to enjoy our sailing adventure just yet, it still shakes me that I'm not as strong as I thought I was. 

The truth is, though, that no matter how hard it is, we have to fight for thankfulness long after the pumpkin pie is gone every single year.

Because thankfulness makes us better spouses, better parents, better friends.

Thankfulness makes us better change agents, better contributors to this world, better versions of ourselves.

Thankfulness is also an act of worship - a spiritual practice - one of the very best ways we can give back to the One who created us and gave us so much to be thankful for in so many ways.

So, if you happen to be having a tough start to the holiday season yourself this year, or if you just want a little extra help building thankfulness into your life long after that pumpkin pie is gone,

Here are the things I'll be doing this weekend to get my heart back in thankfulness mode:

1 - Waking up early to exercise, read, pray, and listen to a song that means something to me

2 - Setting aside time to talk to someone I'm so thankful I have in my life

3 - Participating in a gratitude writing exercise like this one I found on Pinterest (or this one too)

4 - Finishing a phenomenal personal development audiobook (The Charge by Brendon Burchard) and starting a new one (I have a long list of candidates!)

5 - And if things really go south, hopping onto my favorite blogs and perusing Pinterest to find scripture, inspirational quotes, more gratitude prompts, and other ways to get my thankfulness mojo back (I've saved a few here if you need options too)

Already this morning as I write this email to you I'm realizing how much I really do have to be thankful for, and that is such a blessing. Just the fact that I have the opportunity to write to you, a warm home to write from, to be able to even go to graduate school (and finish next week), and to have a family and friends who love me is enough to knock me into thankfulness gear at least a little bit. So thank you for being a part of that, and I hope that some part of this email has been a part of your path to more thankfulness too.

What about you? How do you keep your heart thankful?

Hop into the email group and send over your ideas - I'd love to hear about it.