The Secret to Stopping Your Excuses in Their Tracks

"I know it's hard, but you've got to step up again if you want the life you dream of." 

It was a phrase that came to me from two wise women on opposite sides of the globe in the span of six months. Each time I heard it, I knew I had to pay attention.

The first time it came from a big stage. I was living in Sydney, Australia trying to make ends meet as a 26-year-old mom with two babies, nannying, cleaning houses, and trying to stretch every single dollar so that my hubby and I could soak up some learning at Hillsong College (him) and Hillsong Church (me). That Thursday morning was especially hard for me as both kids were cranky and I felt like the ugliest, frumpiest duckling on the planet, sitting in a giant auditorium listening to the sermon. We were out of money and every opportunity was falling flat for us in Sydney. It was time to get out of school, go home to the States, and look for work, but the task seemed daunting and I didn't want to do any of it. I just wanted to take a nap and let someone else handle it for me. Bobbie Houston spoke that day about what it takes to step into the life we want and to be the woman, mom, sister, and daughter we were created to be. I thought she would say that God would take care of it if we just waited, but she didn't. Instead, she talked about how we all reach critical decision moments in our lives and we have to make the choice to step up again and again into something better, something greater, something we know we were created to do.

"I know it's hard," she said, "but you've got to step up again if you want the life you dream of."

The second time, just six months later, it came from my mom's dinner table back in the States. We had found a way to move home, and we were finding it difficult to get back on our feet. Mom had invited an old friend over for coffee, and since we were staying next door to her for a while, I wandered over to say hi just to be polite. I was feeling torn and unsure that day, desperate for direction, and when I walked in the room and saw Rhonda Nobles, I could tell this was going to be more than coffee. Life, wisdom, and strength poured out of her like a fountain, so I couldn't help but seek her advice. I told her about how I really wanted to stay home with my babies but I had been offered a great social justice job close by and we needed the money. I whined a little bit (okay, a lot) and said I didn't want my husband to get to stay home with the kids - I wanted to do that part myself. I didn't want to be a professional. I just wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I expected her to tell me that I needed to stick with my gut and stay home, that someone else would take care of all the rest, but she didn't. Instead, she talked about how, if we want to have the dreams in our hearts, we have to step up and make the hard choices sometimes. 

"I know it's hard," she said, "but you've got to step up again if you want the life you dream of."

That same principle holds true for those of us looking for family togetherness and dreaming big dreams. It would be so much easier if we could just say a little prayer and magically have an instant, lasting connection with our spouse and kiddos, but it doesn't work that way. It would be so nice if we could just take a nap or dive into our work or get lost on Netflix and magically have the big family dreams we long for, but it doesn't work that way either.

If we want something more, we've got to step up again and again, no matter how many times we've stepped up before.

If we want our kids to be smart, strong, healthy, compassionate humans, we've got to step up, pay attention, make some sacrifices, and get them the tools they need to do that.

If we want to have a strong relationship with our spouses and kids, we've got to step up, pay attention, make some sacrifices, and work on building it.

If we want to travel more, work from home (or anywhere), make a big life change, have a home our kids want to come back to when they're older, fight injustice, write a book, build a business, or accomplish any other big dream, we've got to step up, pay attention, make some sacrifices, and make it happen.

I know it's hard, but you've got to step up again if you want the life you dream of.

No excuses. You can do it.

Not because I've mastered this stepping up kind of life (I'm still working on it every single day), but because it's the only way forward.

Step up again, sister. You've got this.

This weekend, I hope your home is filled with so much love, good company, green smoothies, and warm chocolate chip cookies that you can hardly stand it. You'll find our crew back home in Georgia soaking up a little bit of family love, trying to find our winter shoes (it's cold here!), and gathering strength to step up and head north towards our next family dream. The boat's been sold (details here) and we're so excited to be looking for our next big family dream together. (I'm also excited about having a dishwasher and extra-large hot water heater, but that's another story.)

And the next time you start thinking, "This is just too hard. I can't do it again" or "She's so lucky. I could never do that. My parents/husband/kids/personality is just too...," I hope you think about this togetherness tip and immediately know that you can do it. You can have the family togetherness and big dreams in your heart. You can step up again, no matter how many times you've stepped up before. 

Let’s go after those family adventures you’ve been dreaming of together.

Have you ever had to do the hard work of stepping up to make things different for your family?

Hop into the email group and send me a message - I'd love to chat about it!