Stop This Train: Reassessing and Resetting Life, Work, & Family

Where were you this morning at 1:15 a.m.? I hope you were snuggled tight under the covers in your comfy bed sleeping. That's where I normally am at that hour at least. But last night, I wasn't. Last night at 1:15 a.m. I was dragging myself back home after a spontaneous trip to Georgia (and a very long travel day full of storms and flight delays).

So while I have about 20 togetherness tips drafted for you and scheduled out like the boss mama I normally try to be, they're all half-cocked. Not one quite ready to share. All of them somehow lacking the authenticity and heart I try to always put in these little emails to you.

So I'm not sending any of those to you today. Instead, I'm sending you what's on my heart — a few words from an old John Mayer song and a piece from my 21 Mindset Shifts course about the power of stepping back and reassessing things with our families.

First, here's the piece from 21 Mindset Shifts [Day 8 if you have it already]:

"Can we talk about something?" I had no idea five little words could be so powerful. But they can be profoundly powerful, can't they? I've seen these five words save marriages, heal families, and change the world for people. They could even be the words that save you from burning out in life — or on that big dream in your heart — before you really even get started.

They certainly changed my world just last year. 

One day last summer, I was tidying up outside, thinking all was well, when one of my kiddos whispered, "Mama, can we have a one-on-one? I need to talk about something." So we snuck away to the coffee shop and he told me what was on his heart - he didn't want to travel anymore. I still tear up thinking about the tears in his eyes and his big-hearted words, "I know you're probably disappointed, but I had to tell you." And I'm still thankful for the response that came (who knows where from), "I'm not disappointed. I'm so glad you told me. I don't know how or when we can make it happen, buddy, but I'm going to work on it, okay?"

Truthfully, I had no idea how we could work on it since our travel plans for the rest of the year weren't reversible at that point, but I knew we had to try. The only way I made peace with it was to tell him we would go slow and talk again in six months to see what had changed.

Kids have the funniest way of speaking the truth and getting to the heart of things, don't they? As it turns out, two months after this conversation, we were faced with a big decision on our travel dreams - we could push through and try to make it work or step back and reassess - and it was those five words from our son that helped us make the decision to step back.

No matter where you are on this path, you can step back and reassess with your family, too. Sometimes we absolutely need to push through, and other times, we need to take some time to reassess. And just like an arrow that's pulled back, we'll go farther than we ever have before.

Carrying around a voice in the back of our minds that says, "I have to keep going no matter what" can burn us out and sabotage our efforts towards our biggest dreams. Shifting that voice into "I can step back and reassess with my family" means we get to experience a new perspective, and new perspectives open the door to possibility.

One of my favorite things to do every night is to reset my little home for the next day. I tidy up the kitchen, wipe down the counters, plump up the blankets on the couch, and position the pillows and books just right. It makes me feel ready for a new day. I think we have an opportunity to do the same reset in our souls from time to time, too. Sometimes those resets come from our kids or our spouses, and other times, they come from within - like a gentle Spirit beckoning us to tidy up some things and look again.

I'm so glad I listened last year when my kiddo asked me to reassess our family's way of life. It truly has been the arrow-pulling-back moment we needed to launch into bigger and better dreams. When it comes to your big dream, what areas need reassessing? What have you heard your own kids and husband say that might give you clues? (Not nay-saying extended family members - just the ones closest to you who know your heart.) It's a wild ride balancing these big dreams and big changes with our family-loving hearts, isn't it? But there absolutely is a way. Wouldn't you agree it's about time you embrace your ability to reassess with your family and launch into new territory? 

Make some time and space today to write about something you reassessed recently or something you've been needing to reassess for a long time. How can you tell if it's working or needs a change? What have you heard your family say over the past 6 months? What do you feel in your heart to be true? If there's conflict, can you find a compromise? Write it all down. See what comes to the surface.

Now, here are the words from that old John Mayer song:

Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

The song goes on to talk about how we're never gonna stop this train. And although I won't pretend to know all that he meant by those words, I can tell you that whenever I see a family in crisis, a life that's out of control, or a situation that's headed for a major derailment, this chorus comes to mind. Probably because many times in the past when my little family was in crisis, my life was out of control, and my own reality was headed for derailment, I needed to stop the train.

Not life — just the way I was living it.
Not reality — just the one I'd created for myself.
Not work or family or friends or faith — just my limited perspective about them.

And I did.

I still do.

I'm stopping a few trains right now actually.

Stepping back and reassessing.

Choosing a different track.

Getting out of the busyness and going home again — to that home inside, the one where I'm really me, the one where I'm intentional about my days, my words, my actions. The one where I'm fully present with the people I love the most.

If that resonates with you in any way, I wonder, will you join me?

So that's it for today, friend — a gentle reminder from this sleep-deprived, hungry, travel-weary friend of yours to let you know you don't have to push through anything.

You can take today to step back and reassess things with your family.
Anything.
Everything.
Any time.

I can't even tell you how many good things are in store for you when you do, but I can tell you it'll make such a difference.

Go for it and then come chat with me about it in the email group.

I’ll be waiting there to cheer you on.