When You're Far Too Tired
Double espresso not cutting it these days? Me too, my friend. Me too.
I had plans to write to you about so many things this morning. Spring is here, after all. Winter’s over. There’s a lot going on in the world. So much to talk about. So many good books hitting the shelves. So. Very. Much. But four things happened in rapid succession yesterday and this morning that changed my plans. Messages from the Universe I’ll call them.
#1
A very wise (sometimes) 17-year-old plopped down beside me yesterday and said, “I really needed to be on spring break doing nothing this week. I needed the rest.” When I asked him to tell me more, he talked about school feeling like a never-ending list of assignments, like there’s a lot of pressure to get ready for the next thing, like he’s already behind on college applications, like he hasn’t had any time to just be a kid. Which explains why every time I asked him “What do you want to do for spring break?”, he answered emphatically “Nothing.” It made me think. I started wondering why I felt it was so bad for him to just take a break on his spring break. Then, I started realizing how deeply I’ve been programmed to call this kind of thing lazy and dangerous, along the lines of “idle hands are the devil’s workshop”, and how maybe that’s why I feel burnt out sometimes too. It made me wish I had a spring break, a real one, not for a trip or an adventure. Just a break to do nothing. You too? Why is it adults don’t have spring breaks to just do nothing?
#2
After too many late nights in a row trying to accomplish one more thing, just one more thing on the computer this week then spending my days in back-to-back Zoom meetings, my eyes were stinging and pouring water yesterday around noon. So I decided to set a 30-minute timer, pop in my earbuds, and lay on the porch with a cool pack over my eyes. I fell asleep almost immediately and when my timer went off and I started gathering my things to head to another meeting, I felt my soul pause for the briefest of moments. It felt good to have taken some time to do nothing right in the middle of a workday. I needed it, and I gave it to myself. I knew it was going to change things.
#3
I was talking about this with the person who knows me best, and he said these words to me: “I’m not sure you even know how to do nothing.” Immediately I thought about how much I’ve been working at all times of the day and night lately, how I like to paint while we’re watching a show together, how I’m usually reading when we’re sitting on the porch or lying in bed on a Saturday morning, how I like to write in my journal when I close my computer. Ugh! Just writing that makes me feel sick. Maybe it’s true — I just don’t know how to do nothing. This isn’t a badge of courage. I’m not proud of it at all. I suffer because of it, my relationships suffer, and I need to change it. I want to be someone who knows how to do nothing. I need to. If for nothing else because, as study after study has shown, it’s when we’re doing nothing that we’re more open, more curious, and when our creativity has room to grow, expand, and start working in the most beautiful ways. I need that right now. How about you?
#4
After skipping my morning Simple Abundance ritual for a few days in a row, I decided to catch up before starting to write this morning and ran across these quotes ⤵
“I dream of an art of balance, purity, tranquility, devoid of disturbing or disquieting subject matter. . . something akin to a good armchair.”
~ Henri Matisse
“One of the more delightful ways to find balance is to realize that not everything that needs doing has to be done today.”
~ SBB, Simple Abundance
“Many tasks and issues in our lives with take care of themselves if we will but let them.”
~ Anne Wilson Schaef
I’m taking the hint, Universe. Taking some time to do nothing.
Actually, I’ll close this message right now so we can both unplug, close down all the tabs, and take some time, at least a few minutes, to do nothing. Maybe even a whole day, if we can swing it. Not go for a walk. Not clean. Not call a friend. Not scroll anything on our phones. Just have a spring break.
Just. Do. Nothing.
💛
Peace, love, & comfy armchairs,
Celeste