Big Dreams, Big Change, Big Growth: a how-to guide for big dreamers
I was sipping coffee at our campsite picnic table one morning when she wandered over to say hello. Our conversation was pleasant but I could tell there was something she really wanted to say. And then, it came: “I’ve seen you guys around for weeks now and can’t help but wonder, how do you travel like this with kids?” When I told her we were living in our camper and working remotely for a few years to travel across the country and explore national parks together while our kids were still little, she lit up. She said, “That’s wonderful!”
And then her face grew dark with her next words: “I wish I had . . . “
I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve had that conversation in the past 10 years. And not just about travel, either. I’ve had the same conversation with so many big dreamers about everything from starting our own businesses to things like getting back into painting, finally learning how to throw pottery, getting a manuscript published, and so many other big dreams lying dormant. And every single time I found myself telling them the very same thing I’m writing this blog to tell you today:
Your dreams matter, too.
It matters that you’ve always felt you were meant to teach,
to paint,
to open your own bookshop,
to make great-smelling, sustainable candles,
to stay home with your kids,
to get your PhD,
to design clothes,
to write novels,
to travel the world,
or whatever that dream is that just won’t let you go.
It matters.
Your dreams were put inside of you as a message about what you were meant to do here.
They weren’t meant to be ignored—they were meant to be part of your story. Realizing this was a turning point in my life. Seeing my dreams as being tied to my calling and why I was put on this planet was the final straw in my decision to actually go get them.
I’ve been chasing mine for two decades now—and I’m still running hard after them.
How did I end up being able to go after my biggest dreams when I was in my 20s and continuing to push every envelope on my desk to go after more and more big dreams now that I’m into my 40s? It all started with a whisper back in 2006 saying this:
“What if there’s more?”
I remember it was hot that day. Really hot. I was out for a walk with my almost-one-year-old, earbuds in (or were they headphones back then?), my eyes stinging with tears. I was asking God, the Universe, anyone who would listen, what to do.
I had big dreams for all kinds of travel, big goals for my work life, and a big heart for my little family, but we were stuck. Barely making ends meet, stalled in our personal and spiritual growth, living in a place with no professional opportunities for us and zero online prospects (2006 was a different time). I couldn’t see a way forward.
Then I heard a whisper saying, “What if there’s more than you know?” and the rest is history. I leaned into the “what if”, suddenly got a big idea and rushed back home to tell the hubs about my crazy plan. Six months later, we were living in Sydney, Australia meeting loads of people, learning heaps of life-altering lessons, and stepping onto a path that changed our lives (and the lives of our kiddos) forever.
This is me with my babies in those early big dream days
It still blows my mind how quickly that big change happened — and how many big changes have happened since then.
Looking back, it’s so easy to see there were lots of paths forward for us, but it didn’t feel easy back then and it doesn’t feel easy every time there’s a new big, scary dream on the horizon. It also doesn’t feel easy when we go after our big, scary dreams and they don’t turn out. (Sometimes they don’t—I know all about that, too.)
Even now, all these years later, I think a lot about that day and the whisper I heard.
I think a lot about all of the “What if” whispers so many of us hear that we don’t follow because they seem too impossible, our circumstances seem too daunting, the path just isn’t clear enough.
It’s why I wrote Big Dreams, Big Change, Big Growth: 21 Days to Making It Happen. And it’s why I’m SO HAPPY to tell you this little book is available today on Amazon and on Bookshop.org and on its way to all the other bookish places soon.
But some big dreams happen slowly, hey?
I’ve been dreaming about publishing a how-to guide for big dreamers for years. As soon as the dream came back in 2020, the words came quickly, pouring into my mind and onto the page almost like Ruth Stone describes her poetry visiting her. But when it came to publishing it, something always stopped me. Never before have I felt more deeply this warning from Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art:
“The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.”
It was supposed to be my first book. I had the manuscript outline ready back in the spring of 2020 long before I ever started writing Togetherness Redefined. But I was too afraid to finish it. Then, after Togetherness Redefined was published that summer, the rest of my big dreamer book came to me in a flash and I wrote it in the early morning hours of one month. Still, I couldn’t make myself publish it.
So I workshopped it with a handful of women in email courses and one-on-one phone calls for three years. I tried to move on to other projects, but this one kept calling me back. So I worked on it some more, refined it, made it better, thought about publishing it again, found something about it so difficult and stopped, and yet still felt it weighing on me.
Then, at the end of last year, I heard a whisper. Not the audible kind—the big dream kind—and I knew it was time. So, I got to work.
And now, the how-to guide for big dreamers — the one I’ve been working on for 3 years— is on Bookshop.org and Amazon shelves today.
The title is Big Dreams, Big Change, Big Growth: 21 Days to Making It Happen.
It’s been expanded, updated, and edited what feels like a million times, but the main content and format remain true to the “21 Mindset Shifts to Making a Big Change” email course I did in previous years. And as an added bonus to the book, you’ll find a brand-new “Go Deeper” section with new writing prompts and journaling pages.
And yes, I’m really excited about it.
But I have to tell you something: some dreams feel terrifying—and for me, this is one of them.
As terrified as I am to put it out there, the closer I get to publication day, I realize something—
This is the book I needed back when I was 16, 21, 32, and struggling with my big dreams feeling too heavy, too impossible.
This is the book that could have taught me how to step into those dreams. This is the book that could have made it all feel lighter, more hopeful, more possible.
This is the book that could have saved me from so many “But how?!?” moments.
As terrified as I am, this is the book I still need as I look ahead to the big dreams I hope to realize in the future, the ones I know I’m meant for but have no idea how I’ll ever get there. So, I’m putting this book out into the world because I know there’s at least one other woman who needs it as much as I do.
My gut tells me that’s you.
You have big dreams.
It’s what brought you to this blog and if you’re in the email group, it’s kept you opening, reading, and wondering what I’ll write every Friday. I wrote this book for you. And about those big dreams of yours, I wrote this book for them, to show you how to step into them.
I wrote this book so you can know . . .
Big dreams don’t just come true for other people.
You can change anything.
It’s not too late.
You’re not too old.
You’re not disqualified.
I wrote this book to make it easier for you to . . .
See yourself living the life you were always meant to live.
Realize your power.
Find the answers to your biggest questions.
Stop people-pleasing.
Live your biggest dreams.
Grow in ways you always wished you could.
As I’m reading through the 21 days of material again right now, I’m becoming more and more convinced that this book was destined to speak life into someone’s most important dreams and set big dreamers free in new ways.
This week alone, I’ve been surprised to find it setting me free to go after another impossible dream of my own, giving me new confidence as I face that pesky question that comes to us big dreamers again and again,
“Are you really sure you can do this?”
I’m also finding the mindset shifts in this book opening doors for me to speak life into other people’s dreams. Earlier this week on a work call, I heard myself say, “You won’t regret this—I promise it’s going to work out” to someone making a big job change to be more available for her young family.
And as I look back at what it’s taken to get this book to the finish line, there have been way too many obstacles and weird left-field crazy things holding me back from publishing for it not to be important for someone’s big dreams.
Maybe that’s you.
Dear one, I hope it’s you.
These reviews from the women who have been through this material tell me it could be:
“Inspirational. Practical. Actionable. Empowering. My experience with the material presented in this book was each of these. The daily mindset shifts offer just the right amount of inspirational words and actionable steps to encourage forward progress. Previously a reluctant writer, after committing to the writing prompts in this book, I now find writing to be essential for growth. One of the prompts encouraged me to write two letters to myself– one to my former self, and one to my new self– in light of an unfolding mindset shift. These letters continue to be a tangible beacon of strength that I return to again and again. Another great strength of this book is how it both recognizes and encourages the need for stepping back, reassessing and resetting. It was immensely comforting to realize and accept that big change and growth often do not occur in a linear fashion. This book will remain a cornerstone for fueling personal growth, navigating big change, and pursuing even bigger dreams.” —Amber R.
“This is for someone who’s ready to see a positive personal change.” — Lori H.
“The commitment is small with reading just a few pages and writing your own words when you find time. But the thoughts and questions she places in your heart continue to break down your doubts throughout the 21 days.By the end of the program, you’ll feel more confident in taking the next step.” — Megan D.
“I think these mindsets have the potential to alter the way we think and feel about ourselves and our role as women and mothers.” — Maggie B.
You and I have an appointment with your biggest, most impossible dreams and my little book — Big Dreams, Big Change, Big Growth: 21 Days to Making It Happen — available today on Amazon and on Bookshop.org and on its way to all the other bookish places soon.
I’m so grateful I said yes to that “What if” whisper back in 2006 and so many others since then. I would have missed so much if I hadn’t. And I’m here to tell you something —
If you’re not saying yes to your own “What if” whispers, you’re missing out on so much. And the people you love (& the rest of the world) are missing out on so much from you.
I hope this little book helps you plunge into your biggest dreams.
I hope it propels you forward into your biggest and best changes.
I hope it starts the biggest growth season of your life so far.
I can’t wait to see what you do with it.