The Book That's Teaching Me How to Manage My Anxiety
I started waking up with 3am cold sweat attacks in my 30s. I thought they were normal worries about dentist appointments, forgotten to-dos, and general hormone imbalances. But as they started happening more and more, increasing my level of discomfort as I walked through painful life experiences, I realized it might be more serious.
The more I researched, the more I began to accept that I might have some level of anxiety disorder.
The more I shared this experience with other women, the more I realized just how common this type of anxiety has become. And just how many forms of medication, supplements, and supports are available to help us manage it.
But my body is incredibly sensitive to medication, always has been, so I knew the medicine route wasn't an avenue I wanted to try just yet.
So I got serious about taking care of myself in tangible ways.
It helps a lot.
But it's a time-consuming endeavor, so inevitably I fall back into old patterns sometimes—and find myself waking up every night with panic episodes. So I'm always looking for ways to improve.
This summer, a friend told me how much she was enjoying Cory Muscara's podcast "Practicing Human", and when we discovered his book Stop Missing Your Life: How to Be Deeply Present in an Un-Present World, we decided to read it together.
I love it.
I'm taking it slow, reading only a little each week, putting it down when it feels overwhelming and coming back to it again and again.
It's helping me manage my anxiety. Here are just a few of the ways ⤵
#1 — Consciously choosing to show up instead of shut down
"What would it feel like to notice your own breathing when you hear someone start to snap at you? Or to pause and re-ground when you realize you've made a mistake that's going to cost you double the time?. . .When we experience difficulty and don't shut down in the face of it, we develop our deepest anchor—the part of us that can be steady amid the turbulence of living. . . "
#2 — Getting honest about what's really happening
"Stress is when our perceived demands are greater than our perceived resources to meet those demands. . . Often what we perceive to be demanding is very different than what is actually demanding when we're overwhelmed by the story we've created."
& an Old Pond haiku exercise where I wrote this grounding haiku ⤵
the woman
awake at 3am
heart pounding
chest tight
quiet house
all is well
all is right
(it's not exactly a haiku—I have trouble following rules)
#3 — Being okay with my less-than-perfect moments
"You're going to experience anger, you're going to get triggered, you're going to feel jealous, you're going to say the wrong thing, and you're going to feel overwhelmed. These are all aspects of being human. Practicing presence is less about getting rid of these things and more about meeting these moments with openness, curiosity, and heartfulness."
I'm not saying it's a book that will solve all of your problems.
I'm not saying it's a replacement for anything else that's working to help you.
But I am saying it's a good book that's helping me recognize, honor, and manage my anxiety. (And as someone who spent the first few decades of my life believing I should just be able to pray away my problems, a.k.a. ignore them and hide them at all costs, that's saying a lot.)
If you happen to struggle with managing your anxiety, or if you find this time of the year particularly triggering or difficult, I hope you'll find solace in knowing you're not alone (not even close). And if it feels right to you, I hope you'll check out Cory's podcast and book and let me know what you think.
Interested in more good books?
I’ll be sharing one every Friday in the email group — Join here. (it’s free)
💛
& a little announcement for my email group friends ⤵
Change is afoot. Things are going to look a little different here in 2023 — actually, they already do. (I couldn’t wait for the New Year.)
#1 — Email and blog content. . . If you’ve been opening my emails and hanging around the blog over the past few weeks, you’ve noticed a few changes starting to happen — our Friday morning emails are featuring more good books and there’s a new “books i love” section on the blog replacing the old "More Adventure, Bigger Dreams, Deeper Relationships" headings. It's for very good reason. (More details coming soon, I promise.)
#2 — Social media handles. . . If you sometimes dip into Instagram, you may not have seen me lately. That’s because the algorithm changed drastically this year and now punishes businesses like mine that don’t pay for or post ads. So if you go searching for my profile (amazing, thank you!!), you’ll need to know this — I’ve changed my account name from @togetherness_redefined to @celeste_redefined and I'm sharing more good books there, too.
#3 — Something that will never change. . . These changes do NOT mean I’m no longer a fan of family togetherness — I definitely am (and that value will never disappear here). It’s just that I’ve had a few wake-up moments in recent months. I've been feeling a zing every time I write about good books and hear back from you about them. And that's a zing I want to follow. I also feel myself and my family needing more privacy, more protection as we're all evolving into who we’re each meant to be (especially my kiddos). That's a need I want to honor. So, I'll be rebranding a little bit and sharing more and more of one particular thing that’s always been a love of mine but now has become so big, so diverse, and so life-changing that I can’t hold in my excitement about it any longer — books. (& yes, there will be some of them I write and publish myself —more on that soon, too)
I hope these changes make you feel a zing of excitement too, and I hope that zing leads you to stick around this email group (and hit Reply more often).
But, if you're just not into books, or if something feels off to you, shoot me an email, let's chat, or feel free to hit Unsubscribe at any time (no hard feelings at all).
I'm grateful you're here, grateful I get to write to you every Friday morning, grateful for every response you send back.
This is the stuff writers dream of.
I promise.
💛
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