Finding an Invincible Summer
This may be blasphemy to some of you, but I’ve been thinking about summer a lot in the past few weeks. Dreaming about it. Aching for it. So extremely excited for this next summer that I can hardly stand myself.
It’s not that I don’t appreciate the winter. I know it’s necessary. I know it has its beauty. It’s just that I’ve been missing winter’s beauty this time around. No snow where I am. No magic yet. And it’s summer right now in Australia.
I keep thinking about the year we moved there (January 2007) and how our 24-hour flight took us from the US’s deep winter to Australia’s full-on summer. And then when we moved back to the US (July 2008) and another 24-hour flight took us from Australia’s deep winter to the US’s full-on summer. Forgive me for saying this, but skipping winter was glorious.
I was listening to a podcast interview recently where Jonathan Fields asked Julia Baird about her tattoo Un invincible été. In response, she said the phrase came from this passage ⤵
“My dear, In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that. . .
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy.
For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me,
within me, there’s something stronger — something better, pushing right back.”
~ Albert Camus, The Stranger
I haven’t read Albert Camus’ The Stranger yet, but these words immediately attached themselves to me and haven’t let me go in the days since. Maybe because I’m longing for summer so deeply right now, inside and out. Because it’s cold and dark where I am. Because these are the days when what’s within has to sustain us until the sun shines its face and warms us again.
The passage is beautiful though, hey? Julia Baird’s life story is beautiful, too. After hearing the podcast interview, I immediately bought her book Bright Shining: How Grace Changes Everything on audio ⤵
It’s filled with stories from all over the world about people who give their love, honor, service, and strength when it isn’t deserved. It’s about the power of undeserved kindness and hope in dark times. It’s about the beauty of humanity.
I loved it. Although I have to admit there are quite a few heavy parts. So if that kind of thing isn’t good for you in the dark months, you may want to save it for this summer. (I dove straight into a super light summer-flavored romance when I hit the deepest darkest parts. It helped a lot.)
I also put Julia’s first book Phosphorescence: A Memoir of Finding Joy When Your World Goes Dark on my TBR list ⤵
I imagine there are heavy parts of this book as well since her story is about overcoming cancer, so I’m saving it for the lighter months. But it sounds like such a great read.
If you’ve never encountered the work of Julia Baird and you have some time today, I highly recommend her podcast interview with Jonathan Fields and her portfolio of journalism articles is stellar to read, too.
Enjoy!
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A little update from last week’s message ~ I made it to the hospital in time to hold my grandmother’s hand for three hours before she departed. I’m grateful, although I have to admit it wasn’t a warm or beautiful experience. I wasn’t surrounded by people who loved me. Instead, I was surrounded by people who thought I shouldn’t be there, who wished I wasn’t there. (Families are sadly complicated sometimes.) It made me miss my mother in a whole new way. It’s been a difficult week, but it’s been made brighter by so many of you sending along your care and concern. Thank you so, so much. I’m grateful for the good times I can remember with my grandmother from my childhood, and those are the memories I’m choosing to take with me into the New Year.
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Wherever you are this morning, whatever’s on your heart or swirling in your mind, I hope you find an invincible love, an invincible smile, an invincible calm, and an invincible summer somewhere in there, too.
Not that we’re wishing away the season we’re in or hoping the next thing will be better than this one. Just that we know with everything inside of us, we’re going to make it through and be better for it. I’m right here with you.
grace, love, & good books,
Celeste
