Let Your Face Light Up: a Family Togetherness Tip from Toni Morrison

Being a parent can be overwhelming sometimes. Totally and completely worth it, but still overwhelming. 

We want our kids to be the happiest, most well-mannered, well-behaved kids on the planet. We want them to be smart, kind, caring, compassionate, and to knock everyone's socks off with how beautiful and handsome they are too.

We want them to be well-rounded, well-read, well-traveled, and to have the very best shot at the best colleges and careers on the planet. 

In the meantime, we are washing their dishes, cooking their meals, doing their laundry, cleaning their bathrooms, helping with homework or homeschooling, working jobs to put food on their tables, and reading books, scouring websites, and listening to podcasts about how to do it all a little bit better. 

In the midst of it all, we wonder, "Am I missing something important?"

At the end of the day, we want a true, lasting connection with our kids - whether they're 1, 11, 21, or 51. We want to hold them close, to let them fly, to have a family life where every single day is an adventure we all want to be on together.

We want a relationship with them above all else, and we want that relationship to be strong and lasting, long after they have children of their own and we're not doing their laundry anymore. Sometimes, even in the throes of parenting young ones, everything else fades as this one true goal comes into focus.

And we realize there's something that needs to change.

For me, this happened in 2007 when I watched a 64-second interview with Toni Morrison about how one small motherhood tweak changed everything. And in that moment, over 12 years ago now, I made that same small tweak, and it has changed everything. (Watch the 64-second clip here.)

It might sound small and simple, but I promise you, it makes a profound difference.

It's letting your face light up.

It's letting a smile take hold of your entire being in the morning when your kids stumble down the stairs or hop into your bed.

It's grinning from ear to ear when you get back from a walk alone and wrapping them up in a hug.

It's locking eyes with your husband when he walks through the door and giving him a big smile and smooch. 

It's recovering from a moment of sheer overwhelm with a genuine look of love towards your little ones.

It's letting your face light up every single time you see the ones you love.

I certainly haven't mastered this (as I'm sure my husband would tell you), but I'm working on it, and even after all this time, I still think about that clip so much, realizing the power of something as small as the look on our faces, realizing that even a smile can change everything for our kids, especially on the toughest of days.

Toni Morrison changed my life and my family for the better that day. I even gushed about it in an article called "The Time Toni Morrison Changed My Life" over at togethernessredefined.com.

And I can't even tell you how thankful I am that she did. So, this weekend, as we're catching up on all the chores, running around to all the places we need to be, and taking some time to rest from it all, I hope that one goal comes into focus as you choose ways to connect right where you are, even with something as small as a smile.

How do you remind yourself to let your face light up every time you see your kids after a long day or night away from each other?

Come join the discussion in the email group - I'd love to know!