At the end of last year, I found myself extremely tired. A deep kind of tired. And I knew the reason — I’d been chasing my dream life, my dream job, and my big family dreams for over two decades (chasing them hard) and it was catching up to me.

Since then, I’ve been doing a lot of inner work and a lot of research.

Mostly about contentment.

About settling into my love for more adventure, big dreams, and deep relationships in a way that’s fulfilling, full of healthy growth, and not in a way that allows me to run from my issues or ignore the things I really need to work on. In other words, I’ve been trying to make sure that my love for going new places and doing exciting new things isn’t just a cover for an undeveloped, puny, or putrid soul.

It’s been an interesting path so far, to say the least. Surprising, heart-wrenching, soul-soaring, and interesting.

Most days, I simply try to let go of the negative stuff, the parts of life I’ve labeled bad for some reason, my hurts, bumps, bruises, and grudges. So many days, this kind of letting go is important, and I recognize it and release it with ease. Other days, I struggle to let go of the negative stuff and then realize how much better I feel when I do.

But when it comes to the good stuff, I often find myself wanting to hold onto it all, not wanting to let go of even one little bit, ever.

If I’m honest, when it comes to the good stuff, I want to dig my claws in and keep it forever, all of it, every single bit. But the more I read I realize this isn't the way. The more experts I encounter who are ahead of me on the road to contentment and graceful living, the more I hear them agreeing that there’s value in holding both the good and the bad lightly, letting go easily of the positive and the negative, the blissful and the woeful.

I can’t help but wonder why — why do we have to let go of the good stuff?

Recently, this all became very real for me as I found myself struggling to let go of two things that have been important to my family for almost a decade now — our Airstream and truck — the rig that took us around the whole US for seven years of epic full-time travel.

My smallest self wonders why I can’t hold onto them and set them up in my backyard until we need them again. Why can’t I drive that truck forever and turn the Airstream into a permanent Airbnb or a bookstore or a playhouse for my grandchildren one day?

Who says I have to let them go?

For the past year and a half since we came off the road, I’ve been holding onto them. We set the Airstream up as our little summer Airbnb, and we’ve been using the truck as our gas-guzzling family vehicle. All because I didn’t want to let go of the memories.

But now, as things are shifting all over the place in our family and in my heart, I can’t help but wonder,

Do things hold our best memories or is it something else?

And what happens when we let go of those things? Will we get to keep the memories or lose some part of them? Will we regret letting things go? Will we always wish we had them back?

Lately, these questions have been keeping me up at night. Here’s why ⤵

Because after much debate and conversation, we’re selling our Airstream and trading in our truck. The duo that took us to 48 US states and the one place we called home for most of our children’s childhood won't be ours anymore in just a few short months.

To tell you the truth, I haven’t completely made peace with it yet. (I’m hoping writing this will help.)

Because I've been so happy being the "Airstream family" for so long, and I wonder — what will happen when we don’t own an Airstream anymore? Who will we be if we can’t hop in the truck and haul our little rolling house down the road at the drop of a hat like we used to?

The answer to these questions came faster than I thought it would.

Just as soon as we decided to let go of our truck and Airstream, we found ourselves getting on board with a new kind of roadtrippin’ machine and finally making some real plans for the international adventures we've been dreaming of for so long, too.

Like a vacuum that has to be filled, our letting go of one dream created space for us to go after the next ones.

We couldn't see clearly what stepping into our next dreams really looked like until we had stepped out of our last ones.

And even though we're still figuring it all out, it feels so good to have made the decision and be moving forward. Jen Sincero told me as much two years ago when I read her book You Are a Badass at Making Money, but to be honest, when I read her words on the topic, it was deeply frightening to me. I didn't think I had enough energy for more risks. I wasn't sure I wanted to go after another dream. Today, I know just what she’s talking about.

To be clear though, it's 100% NOT about buying one shiny thing after another or jet-setting here, there, and everywhere just to fill our time. Traveling happens to be a big part of my particular dream, but it's not everything. Not even for me. I'm waking up to the reality that we may not even know what everything is just yet.

It's about creating space in our lives for something we can't even imagine.

I can’t help but recognize that it’s the letting go that’s required to make room in our hearts and in our lives for other things — bigger things, things that are just right for this particular season.

This is what it takes to move into the life of our dreams.

Again and again and again.

Letting go isn’t just nice or helpful or good to do sometimes. It’s required.

At least for those of us who want to get out of our ruts and "live to the hilt", as Eleanor Roosevelt would say.

That doesn’t mean it’s easy, but it does mean it’s available to us.

And sometimes available is all we need to make it possible.

But how do we do this?

How do we make peace with letting go of the good stuff?

Especially when we can’t know what’s ahead and can’t yet see everything that’s possible?

To do this, I think we have to embrace the value of impermanence and allow it to help us let go. We can lean into knowing that everything has its heyday — its spring and its summer seasons. And everything also has its end — its fall and winter seasons, too. Passions, dreams, hobbies, the way we do family, and even relationships and life itself, too.

It's hard to recognize and embrace that nothing lasts forever, but I'm finding it a necessity.

And just in case I wasn’t learning this lesson fast enough, in the middle of all of these changes, there’s another one that's just hitting our family, too. A big one — an end to our life as a homeschooling family. An end to my days as a homeschooling mom.

I knew we wouldn’t homeschool forever, but after 13 years of homeschooling, I was really getting used to it. I knew deep down that my oldest would probably start college early and my youngest would probably want to try public high school. But I don’t think I realized just how suddenly it might happen or how difficult it truly is to let go of the good stuff until this particular call to let go came knocking at my door. I'm elated and excited for both of my boys — and for myself, too. I absolutely can't wait to see what's next for all of us. At the same time, there's a part of me that really wishes I could hold onto homeschooling for at least another year or two. (It's weird, I know.)

I say all of that to say this ⤵⤵⤵

It’s so easy to let go of the bad stuff — the hurtful, the negative, the subpar and less than ideal.

But when something is absolutely 100% what you’ve dreamed of, it’s hard to release it.

Sometimes it’s really hard.

But if I know one thing after all these years of chasing dreams, it’s this —

Holding anything too tightly prevents us from receiving the life we’ve always dreamed of.

We have to be ready to let go of the good stuff.
As hard as it is.
As much as we don’t know what’s around the corner.
As much as we wonder if we’ll regret our decision to let it go.

We simply can’t have the life we’ve always dreamed of if we’re still carrying around the baggage of our past dream lives.

It doesn’t work that way.
The vacuum has to be created for it to be filled.
The letting go has to happen before the provision.

Yes, I'm absolutely coaching myself through these big changes with today's togetherness tip. But I've also talked to enough mamas in recent weeks to know I'm not alone.

So many of us are facing big decisions right now.
So many of us are trying to decide what to let go of and which dreams to embrace.
So many of us are trying to choose abundance while balancing tight budgets, small bank accounts, and growing bills in the midst of it, too.

If that's you today, I hope these words help, even if just a little.

I hope they give you all kinds of courage and hope to go after the life of your dreams with a whole new zing.
I hope they propel you into all kinds of adventures, big dreams, and deep relationships with your people.
I hope they at least let you know you're not alone.
Not even close.

How do we finally start living the life of our dreams?