11 Tips for Making Birthdays a Big Deal in Your House
Cake for Breakfast and So Much More...
"I hope you're okay with birthday cake for breakfast," I said to a sweet friend who had driven hours to stay with us for my oldest son's big third birthday bash.
"Of course," she said, too polite to say anything else, but I could see the question on her face.
And then she found out our family secret. . .
If someone in our house is having a birthday, we are having birthday cake first thing in the morning along with presents, candles, balloons - the works. Every. Single. Time. No matter what we've planned for the rest of the day.
It started when I was a kid and someone gave me a t-shirt that said, "Today I'm the birthday queen." From that moment on, I have been infatuated with birthdays, believing that if it's someone's birthday, that person should be treated like a queen or king all day long. I agonized over this when I was small, feeling powerless to make it happen for my parents and sister, even to the point of driving my parents up the wall.
So as soon as I started my own family, I knew what our first family tradition would be - big, big, big birthdays celebrated from the moment the birthday boy or girl opens his or her eyes another year older.
And boy have we had fun.
I knew it would be. After all, who doesn't love to be celebrated just for being born?
What I didn't know was how much connection it would bring for all of us.
Here's what worked for us when the kids were tiny:
Trips to the aquarium, dinosaur museum, playground, zoo, mountains, snow, beach, or wherever they dreamed up (within reason) on the day of their birthday
Parties in the theme of their choice (one year we had 3 themes at the same party b/c my 3-year-old couldn't decide, and another year we stayed up super late making a Monopoly cake and setting up 5 different types of Monopolies for the next morning's party)
Making candy in the shape of Legos (or their favorite thing at the time)
Wrapping prezzies in the paper they picked out themselves
Balloons all over the house first thing on birthday morning
It wasn't fancy or too expensive - it was just asking what they wanted, listening, and doing it. The hardest part was putting my own ideas of Pinterest-worthy photos out of my mind to give them the party theme or trip they really wanted.
When they started school, we made a rule that no one would ever have to do school on their birthday, and that was a big present in itself.
And now that they're older and don't want big birthday bashes, here's what we do:
Bigger excursions further away to special places like baseball games, a series of museums, or a fancy architecture site
Experiences like skiing, tubing, snowball fights, pottery, glassblowing
Shopping trips to spend their birthday money
Special meals all week long on birthday week
Nice restaurants they've always wanted to visit
Gifts they don't expect but really want
And still, the hardest part is asking what they want, listening, and doing it. But the goal is still the same - celebrating the fact that we are so glad they were born and the world is so much better because they're in it.
Sometimes I fail - sometimes I don't listen well enough - sometimes the bakery is closed and we have to eat gas station doughnuts for breakfast, but I believe they feel loved and celebrated even when all goes awry, and that's what's most important.
No matter what might go wrong, we're doing it together and making big memories, and that brings us closer every single time.
Right now as I write this, we're packing our bags to leave for a big birthday trip to a glassblowing studio 5 and 1/2 hours away because my very artsy oldest is having his 14th birthday tomorrow. We'll also visit a few of his favorite restaurants and bookstores along the way too - and you know that tomorrow morning we'll be having chocolate birthday cake for breakfast.
I bet you have your own ideas about what a big birthday looks like for the people you love, and if you're struggling to connect with someone you love, that big birthday might be just the ticket. The friend I mentioned before now has a big family of her own, and I'm always amazed at the fun things they do for their little ones on their birthdays. (I even steal her ideas sometimes too!)
The cool thing is that you don't even have to wait for a birthday - how exciting would it be to wake up to a "half-birthday" or a "quarter-birthday" or a "five-eighths birthday" excursion, cake, and party?