Traveling More: Is it Selfish?
The short answer is - it depends.
NOTE: This post was written many months before any of us knew the words COVID-19 and coronavirus. See our family's updated response to the pandemic below.
Rather than calling it selfish, we call it investing in our family.
You may disagree, and that's okay.
For us, the question really isn't "Is doing life this way selfish?" It's "What are we investing in?"
For us and so many other families we've met on the road, we travel more and more every year because it's how our family thrives and we want to invest in what makes our families thrive.
We are adults who thrive when we're traveling.
We thrive when we're homeschooling.
We thrive when we're camping.
We thrive when we're discovering a new national park, city, culture, or group of friends.
We thrive when we're forced to pick up and move every few weeks or months.
We thrive when we're constantly out of our comfort zones.
We thrive in places where there's a constant opportunity for outdoor adventure.
How do we know we're thriving?
Because we find that we're fully awake to life when we're traveling.
Our kids thrive too because they see their parents thriving.
Our kids thrive because they see their parents refusing to hide behind fear, refusing to live life in a listless haze, refusing to walk through life never having fully lived.
That was the way we were headed before we started traveling more.
We were as far from thriving as you could get.
We were cynical.
We were bitter.
We were slowly creeping into a life of settling for the way we "had" to live rather than going after how we desperately dreamed we could live.
We were not our best selves.
So, we made a change.
Instead of investing in the way life is "supposed" to be and becoming something that didn't feel right, we chose to invest in the unconventional way life made sense for us and become who we were made to be.
Not every family works this way.
Some families don't have a desire to travel at all - traveling just isn't how they thrive.
Many families thrive in a more traditional lifestyle.
Others are dealing with serious illnesses, family members who can't care for themselves, and disabilities that would make traveling more a tremendous problem rather than a solution.
No matter what your situation, doing what makes your family thrive should be the easy choice.
But many times, it's not.
Sometimes there's guilt that comes when we choose our families over something else.
Instead of feeling guilty about it, we can do our best, lean into our best selves, and try to find ways to serve others along the way.
I certainly don't have this all figured out - and I may never figure it all out.
I still struggle with feelings of guilt because I'm not the daughter, friend, aunt, sister, or granddaughter who's close by, ready to help with anything at the drop of a hat.
I still struggle when I miss my niece and nephews' birthday parties, kindergarten graduations, and milestones.
I still struggle when I can't help my sister in a pinch, or when my dad needs company and I can't be there.
And God knows I struggled last year when my mom was slipping into heaven and I wished I had spent more days with her.
But through all of that struggling, I try to remember what my mom wrote to me over and over again in her texts and letters.
Over and over she said, "I wish I could keep you here, but I know you have to go, and I know there's a big purpose in your going - I'm so proud of you."
So the next time that big dream hits you and you start to think about all the people you would let down if you left the comfort zone they've built for you, ask yourself this,
Which would they rather have - a muted version of me close by or the truly alive me living far away sometimes?
When we realize that we're becoming who we were really created to be so that we can live a life that opens up possibilities for other people, I don't think we'll see it as selfish anymore.
Still have questions?
Hop into our email group and shoot me a message - I'd love to hear from you!
And check out the rest of the "Traveling More" series:
UPDATE:
Since writing this post, our family went after another big travel dream and then, when the coronavirus emerged in March 2020, we decided to take some time away from travel to do our part for stopping the spread of the COVID-19 pandemic, and to take a big rest as we prepare for international adventures in the future. I'm sure we'll be traveling again soon, but for now, we're happy to settle into our new spot in Maine and explore Acadia National Park for a while.