How to go from "Must be nice" to "We're finally here"
I’ve been roaming around a big city this week celebrating my 40th birthday. A really big city. New York City.
We’ve been here before with our kids — twice actually. But always as a guest of a grandparent. Never on our own dime with our own agenda just because we wanted to. Never footing the bill for fancy dinners, nice hotels, Broadway shows, and shopping excursions ourselves. It’s definitely something we used to see other travel-loving families doing and immediately respond,
“Must be nice!”
You know the tone and feeling of those words — jealousy mixed with a bit of sass. It was always something that seemed completely out of reach for us and our small travel budget (especially since big cities don’t really have campgrounds or stealthy Airstream parking spots). But this time, we found ourselves saying instead:
“We’re finally here!”
You wouldn't know it from my Instagram posts about our trip, but I’m embarrassed to tell you how many middle-of-the-night fears I had to overcome to get here. Even so, I did it. I’m here. (& so relieved to see COVID restrictions lifting right and left every single day) I’m also a little embarrassed to admit to you how selfish it feels to be taking a big trip like this just because it’s my birthday.
My guess is you know the feeling.
When it’s my kids or my husband’s birthdays, I’ll do anything and go anywhere just to make sure they feel celebrated and have a good day. (We like to make birthdays a big deal in my house.) But when it’s my own, I’ve always told myself I’m perfectly content with a hike or a long walk outside or maybe a meal I like — something simple, something small, the less it costs the better. But not this year. This year, I wanted to celebrate turning 40, entering a new decade of life, stepping into my middle-age season like the woman I want to be — brave, kind, generous, adventurous, creative.
But I want you to know something —
I still cringe a little bit when I post about trips like this on social media and certainly when I write about them to you. I cringe because there’s still a part of me that instinctively looks around whenever I eat in a nice restaurant or go to a Broadway show and have to remind myself, “This isn’t a waste of money. These other people can afford to be here. So can you. You belong.”
Because these two things I know for sure:
#1— Travel and adventure are extremely important to my little family.
They always have been. They're part of who we are and how we connect. They're how we feel most alive.
#2 — We don’t come from the kind of big money it takes to travel like this and go on big adventures.
We’ve been traveling and adventuring together with every spare dollar we had even when we didn’t have a dollar to spare. And now that we do have a few dollars to save and spend on trips like these, it feels odd. Daily I encounter my own poverty mindset. Daily I’m pushing myself to believe in abundance, to believe I deserve this, to believe it’s not all going to come crashing down one day.
But it’s not just about money. It’s also about the time it takes to make the money. Time I want to spend with the people I love - not stuck behind a computer screen. So I do what I feel called to do. I travel with my little family. And I share our travels on social media, on the blog, and here with you. Not because I like to brag about all the cool stuff I’m doing. Because I want you to do what you feel called to do too.
I want you to know that even if you don’t have two dollars in your pocket right now that could be used to go after your big dreams, you can still go after it.
Just take the next step. All you need will make its way to you. I promise it will. (You make the first move—that's how it works—and if you need help or encouragement, I can help you with that.)
And just in case NYC happens to be on your list, here's a list of all of our favorite NYC spots. ⤵ (After clicking the link, just zoom in and click on each pin for details.)
Here’s a little NYC love from the Togetherness Redefined Instagram page, too
Want more encouragement like this on the regular?
Hop into the email group today and chat with me — I’d love to hear from you!