When Overwhelm Hits Hard at Home
Last week’s togetherness tip was heavy. Sadly, it might have even been triggering for you. Those two words — church and cancer — are somewhat loaded words for most of us, to say the least. And the more women I talk to lately, the more I realize we all have so many things weighing on us right now, so much piling on, overwhelm hitting hard at home every single week.
So this week, when I ran across a particularly moving passage in a book I’m loving more and more as the year goes on, it reminded me of something my husband does that helps me when I’m overwhelmed.
Something I try so hard to do for others.
Something I think can help everyone who’s feeling overwhelmed in this season.
And I knew I wanted to share it with you.
Here’s the passage ⤵⤵⤵
“More women than you realize have a secret fantasy. . . One more perfectly normal day of incessant demands, neglected children, needy partners, family, or friends, unfinished work, and everyday money worries, and you feel you can’t cope anymore. An overwhelming impulse to disappear without a trace comes over you. . . Of course, you’re not going to do it, but contemplating a plan of escape is an imaginary mechanism to let off steam from life’s pressure cooker. No more overdue bills, arguments over cooking, cleaning, carrying out the garbage, spending, or custody; no more clashes between children and career, no more exhausting caretaking of an elderly parent, no more emails from bosses at all hours of the night. No more responsibility than what you can serenely handle in any twenty-four-hour period. . . Actually, the fantasy of running away can be very therapeutic because it waves a psychic and spiritual red flag warning us that our life has become unmanageable, we’re at a dangerous crossing, and the barrier arms are coming down. Changes need to occur, creative choices need to be made, conversations need to be started and finished. If the fantasy persists to the point of action, asking for help is much better than buying a one-way bus ticket. . . You won’t have to run away if you can learn to just say: Enough. Enough. Enough! And mean it.”
from Sara Ban Breathnach’s Simple Abundance
And here’s something that always helps. . . ⤵⤵⤵
I see you.
Who did laundry all weekend long so they’d be able to wear their favorite outfits on the first day of school?
You did.
Who spent more than you planned to spend on back-to-school shopping but somehow made it work?
You did.
Who made sure they had the right pencils and notebooks and all the things?
You did.
Who made sure their lunchboxes were packed and they had something to eat before heading off to school?
You did.
Who makes sure they have what they need every season of the year, often putting your own needs so far on the back burner that you don’t realize you haven’t been taking good care of yourself until overwhelm hits you so hard you can’t move?
You do.
I see you.
I see you in the grocery store with an overloaded cart on Sunday afternoons when you could be resting.
I see you working hard when you’d rather be doing something fun.
I see you investing every resource you have—time, money, energy, all of it— into the people you love every single day.
Just in case no one has acknowledged how hard you’re working and all you’re doing for your family, I want you to know,
I see you.
What you do matters.
It matters a lot.
Every single bit of it.
And they see you too.
They might forget to let you know sometimes, but it matters to them, too.
You’re making such a difference.
More than you’ll probably ever know.
I see you.
So keep going.
Take breaks, to be sure.
Take that self-care list off the back burner.
Say your own version of “Enough” and mean it.
Ask for help.
And keep going.
I see you.
I hope that helps you the way it always helps me.
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By the way, I have a tiny bit of book-ish news. . .
Here’s where you can find a little something special from my writing desk in print this month ⤵⤵⤵
(It might even help if your self-care list includes indulging in a few real-life yummy books when things get overwhelming)
