Is Multi-tasking a Super Power or a Super No-No?
I deleted my email accounts from my phone yesterday. Maybe that wouldn't be a big deal for you, but for me, it was earth-shattering - something I simply didn't think I'd ever do.
But as I flipped through my email with one hand, filling the kettle for coffee with the other, and putting one eye on a separate computer altogether, an ear towards a story my little boy was telling me, and a separate train of thought trying to make a to-do list for the day, this article stopped me in my tracks and I realized it was time to stop.
In that one instant, I started to see that all of my efforts for family togetherness were being undermined by my determination to do multiple things at once. All. The. Time. It's a survival tactic I've been employing for several years now - the only thing I thought was allowing me to be super productive in so many areas of life. The sad thing is that it felt like it was working for such a long time. Until all of a sudden, it didn't.
The truth is, I've been feeling my family (and my brain) rebel against my multi-tasking for about a year now, and I've been ignoring it.
They're always waiting for me to finish just one more email, to complete just one more task, to wrap up just one more phone call. They've gotten used to me not being able to watch a movie all the way through with them because I need to just finish the dishes real quick. They've seen me glance at my phone at 10pm for just one more check right before bed and end up problem-solving in my head while trying to spend time snuggling or chatting with them.
Meanwhile, my heart and mind have been longing for a reprieve - longing to focus on one thing at a time. Migraines knock on my doorway too often. I alienate friends because my brain can't focus on their stories. My kids know when my brain is overloaded and I'm not listening to them because my eyes glaze over and I just smile and nod.
Over the past few months, so many quotes and articles have come my way telling me it's time to stop. NPR calls multi-tasking a human delusion and talks about it causing stress on the brain that can be dangerous, Psychology Today claims that it takes more time to do things when we multi-task than it would take to focus on singular tasks individually, and Forbes Magazine names multi-tasking as the enemy of productivity. Somehow, even with all of this evidence to the contrary, I thought my brain was different.
And then, yesterday's article made me see the impact on my family - the straw that broke the camel's back.
The article came from one of my favorite email groups - the Best Self tribe I became a part of a few years ago. It's called "Keeping It Simple: Single Tasking is the New Black for Mindfulness and Productivity", and it's such a good article - every single word. But it was this quote that prompted me to action:
"If I am being completely honest, my kids probably suffered the most. I can’t imagine what went through their little heads…" -Melinda Andrison
As soon as I saw those words, I realized that even with all the things we do to build connection and family togetherness, my own kids and husband suffer when I try to do so many things all in the same moment. They feel less-than, not as important, pressured, bored, and hurt, and only I can make things different. So I am.
Here's how -
From now on, when I listen to a story, I'm going to really listen.
When I watch a movie, I'm going to forget about everything else.
During the hours when I'm working or writing or answering email, I've blocked out time to do it, and I'm not trying to do anything else.
I won't assess my to-do list during meals.
I won't write an article or email response in my head during breakfast.
When we're homeschooling, I'm fully engaged or doing something else close by, ready to put it down when a question comes my way.
I won't try to do just one more thing real quick - I'll block off time and be intentional about my attention.
When I'm on a phone call, the kids are engaged elsewhere.
And now that you know I'm trying, there's no turning back, right? If the experts are right, my brain fuzz will dissipate, my productivity will soar, and my family will reap the benefits.
What about you?
Have you ever struggled with multi-tasking or do you love doing it and think you're the bomb.com at it like I did before yesterday?
Do you ever struggle with multi-tasking? Have you ever given it up for a day or two (or more)?
Come join the email group and join the discussion - I'd love to hear from you.