The Quote That Changed Everything

This time last week I was writing to you from Amsterdam’s Schipol airport. I told you how epic my time in Amsterdam had been, how much fun I’d had there, how grateful I was/am to be a traveler. I also mentioned that I presented at a conference while I was there.

That conference was one of the absolute best professional experiences of my life.

The conference wasn’t a women’s conference or a wellness retreat — it was a philanthropy software conference where I was presenting to colleagues in the world of what I commonly refer to as my paying job/“real work”. I don’t talk about that part of my life a lot here, so I thought I might do that today in case you need to hear about a professional win to know that what you’re dreaming of is possible. Or, if you’re looking for a sign about what to do in that part of your life, hopefully this could be that sign.

Since coming home, I’ve been reflecting on the experience, marveling about how someone like regular ol’ me found herself with the opportunity to travel all the way to Amsterdam to speak at a software conference (if you know me well, you know that’s a big thing).

It occurred to me that it all may have started when I read this quote around this same time last year ⤵

“Today, start asking. You see a woman with a great haircut? Ask where she got it.

Ask for the name of a great paint color in a home accessory shop, a fabulous recipe from a hostess, the name of a piece of music you hear over the speakers at the hair salon.

Ask your partner to take the kids for the afternoon to give you some time to yourself.

Ask the kids to pick up their toys so you don’t have to do it. Ask for a deadline extension.

Ask for the day off. Ask for a raise.

Ask when the next sale will be.

Ask Spirit for a daily portion of grace.

Ask Divine Wisdom for operating instructions.

Ask your guardian angel to manifest holy assistance.

While you’re at it, ask for a deeply personal miracle—you know, the one you need so much you’re afraid even to pray for it.

Ask for what you need and want.

Ask to be taught the right questions.

Ask to be answered.

Ask for the Divine Plan of your life to unfold through joy.

Ask politely. Ask with passion.

Ask with a grateful heart and you will be heard.

Just ask.”

~ Simple Abundance (underlines mine)

Now that I think about it, that quote is definitely where it all started — doesn’t everything start with asking, after all?

A rare photo of me in “real work” mode ⤵

(It’s a rare photo because I’m usually doing this kind of work 4-5 days a week over Zoom. It’s also rare because when I do present in person, there aren’t usually people in the room taking photos ~ a big thank-you to Angela for taking this one.)

To be extremely honest, quite a lot happened between reading that quote, learning how to ask for what I really want and need, starting to believe I could deserve it, and then seeing the first fruits of that asking. One of those things was a bit of a dark period where, last fall, I briefly thought it might be time for me to leave my philanthropy software work for good.

I came very close to walking away.

To make a very long story very short, I felt lost in my work, frustrated that my paying work wasn’t aligning with my passions. I asked for help, for a sign, for a new opportunity, for a team of colleagues, or maybe even for some way to get out of philanthropy and into more writing, retreat leading, anything that felt better and more aligned with the real me. I asked for a lot. Then, help came in the form of Jonathan Fields’ book and professional passion quiz Sparked where I learned three very important things about myself:

1— I need to learn (Maven)

2— I thrive when helping people see their own strength (Sage)

3— I need to be fully authentic (anti-Performer)

At the end of Sparked, Fields warns his readers that they may want to blow up their life, quit their jobs, and start from scratch. Don’t, he says, stay with your current work situation while you work this out in your heart before you decide on any big changes (paraphrased).

He was right. After learning those things about myself and digging deep into Fields’ research in Sparked about how to thrive while knowing those things, I wanted to uproot my entire life and go back to school and start over in my career. I spent months thinking about this, asking for a sign, and researching what others in my shoes have done. I even applied for a few jobs I wasn’t sure were a good fit (thankfully, they weren’t and I didn’t get them). And one day, I got really honest and just cried out to all that was holy asking for some kind of guidance. What came next was a question ⤵

“What is it exactly that you really want?”

To which I replied, “I just want to empower women by writing emails, hearing their stories, and showing them how amazing they really, truly are—and I want to get paid really well to do it.”

To which the question asker replied,

“How sure are you that you’re not already doing that?”

Light.

Bulb.

Moment.

I was already doing it.

I was already empowering women by writing emails, hearing their stories, and showing them how amazing they were in my “real work” job every weekday and in these Friday morning emails, too.

I literally already had the very thing I was asking for and I was about to throw it all away.

Thankfully, I didn’t throw it away. Thankfully, I leaned in, made a few subtle but significant tweaks (like joining the stellar consulting team at Philanthropy.io), and have spent the last six months enjoying my work in a very real way.

I don’t have it all figured out by any means, but now I see the incredible opportunity I have to talk to women all day every day and empower them in all sorts of ways. Sure, we talk about philanthropy software 90% of the time, and I get to show them what they can do with their brilliant minds. And the other 10% of the time, I get to show them what they’re already doing with their brilliant hearts. We talk about life, our families, our partners, our big dreams, and all kinds of things.

It’s pretty similar to what I do here in this email group (especially when you respond) every single Friday morning. Now I see every day that I already have my professional dream life. And I’m so, so grateful.

I asked. I saw.

Now I know that even when things change (because everything changes eventually), I can ask again, look, make some tweaks, and it’s possible to have everything I desire again.

💛

If you’ve been struggling to find your way lately, my friend, I hope this story encourages you. I hope you know that anything is possible. No one has it all figured out. We’re all just figuring it out as we go along. Every single one of us. Thank you for being here and letting me figure it out along with you.

Keep going.

Always.

I’ll be right here with you.