“That’s racist” were words I never expected to have shouted at me, especially not in front of so many friends and colleagues.

So you can bet I’ll never forget them. Just like I’ll never forget the tears that came, the red cheeks that betrayed me, and what a fool I made of myself.

I’ll never forget how deeply I thought I had no racism in me and how truly wrong I was.

That was the day I started waking up to things like unconscious bias, white privilege, and inequity, and finding out what race has to do with everything.

It’s true that our whole generation is waking up.

Every week new research emerges as we learn more about everything from eating better, being more socially responsible, protecting our grandparents from scams, removing the stigma from mental health, and using less plastic, to fighting child labor and human trafficking, preserving the rainforest, saving the oceans, reducing our waste, and on and on, causing us to change our mindsets and habits regarding everything from the food we eat and the packaging that food comes in to the clothes and phone cases we buy and what we do with our garbage.

And we’re also waking up to what’s happening to people of color like Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, and so many of our friends going through things every single day I, as a white woman, can’t even imagine.

We’re beginning to see the realities of racial injustice.

We see people targeted because of their race.

We see things we thought didn’t exist anymore.

And we’re starting to see that there may be thoughts and feelings inside of us we didn’t put there - things we know we need to own up to like bias and inequality and privilege.

It feels important, but so many times, we don’t even know where to start.

We start to wonder, What difference can we really make? and What does any of this have to do with my family?

It can be paralyzing because we humans hate being wrong. We hate admitting that what we thought or did yesterday wasn’t right or best.

We hate making mistakes.

But so often, what we don’t realize is that the worst mistake we’re making is refusing to wake up and step past what we couldn’t see before.

We don’t realize the example we’re setting for the next generation - and how important it is to wake up to what’s going on with racial injustice and unconscious bias.

So I want to share my own waking-up story with you.

It’s about how I had to shift my mindset away from “That can’t possibly be right; I…

“have friends who are people of color”
“don’t see color”
“am super-inclusive”
“never use racist remarks”
“love all kinds of people”
“call out other people all the time”
“am a HUGE advocate for social justice”
(or even “I was a sociology and social change major, for crying out loud” - my old #1)

And shift to something better than that.

It’s about how we should:

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed individuals can change the world. In fact, it's the only thing that ever has."

- Margaret Mead

It’s about how I’m still trying to wake up.

It’s by far the most difficult, most personal story I’ve written to date.

And the one I’m most proud of.

I don’t know any other way to make sure I’m not the only kind of mama who gets to go after her biggest dreams.

It’s important to me that every mama gets that chance.

You can read it here. ⤵

What about you?

Are there things about race, equity, white privilege, inclusion, equality, social justice, unconscious bias, Asian hate, Black Lives Matter, and becoming an anti-racist that are confusing you right now? Things you may have misunderstood and are afraid to tell anyone because it feels too embarrassing to ask?

Are there things you’ve been afraid to consider because believing something different feels too painful?

I don’t have all of the answers, but I want you to know you have a safe place to grow & help your family grow here.

Start anywhere.

Here’s what I’m doing - I’d love for you to join:

Read:

This is Your Time by Ruby Bridges
and so many more (here’s a great list I keep going back to)

Watch:

The Trial of the Chicago 7
Disney’s Ruby Bridges
and so many more (Netflix has a great Black Lives Matter collection)

Chat:

When you come over to the email group and ask your question or share your story.

What's Race Got to Do With It?