And Then There Was a Literary Agent
It’s a big dream kind of day in my little world this morning. A few hours after I send this message to you, I’ll be packing a bag and driving to the PITCH Conference in Portland, Maine, where I’ll meet my new literary agent.
Maybe.
I’ll be surrounded by other writers all day tomorrow hearing agents speak about how to land a book deal, what it takes to be a published author, and what they’re looking for. I have an appointment with a literary agent who publishes books like the ones I write. She’s read my query letter and five pages of my manuscript. She’s probably perused my website and checked out my IG shenanigans. She might even be reading this email right now.
I’ve been dreaming about pitching my book to a literary agent since I was a little freckle-faced girl writing in my sparkly pink mini-padlock-protected diary. I feel good about the blurb: An experienced traveler and writer shares 30 days of tools, inspiration, and motivation for women hoping to write their travel blog, outdoor manifesto, novel, children’s book, or personal musings without selling out.
And boy have I done the work—I’ve been writing publicly for almost a decade. I had a slow start, but I’ve been published in multiple magazines, and I’ve self-published two books. People buy those books in bookstores and online almost every month. I have a thriving weekly blog and a very engaged email group (thanks to you!!).
Still, it may not be enough.
I can’t control whether the agent will sign me. I can’t force even one single thing to happen or not happen this weekend. The only thing I can control is whether I prepare, get there on time, and enter the meeting with my big girl pants on. Either she will want to work with me or she won’t. And if she doesn’t, I have to decide to take her feedback and keep going after my dream. Or not. It’s up to me.
So I’m not surprised to find self-doubt crouching at my door today.
It’s normal. It happens every time I’m acting on a big dream.
So, I thought I would share how I overcome self-doubt in moments like these — how you might overcome self-doubt the next time you’re going after a big dream of your own.
Here’s the trick ⤵
One
foot
in
front
of
the
other.
That’s it — I keep stepping forward. Even when I’m afraid to step forward because I don’t know what’s going to happen, I don’t know what they’re going to say, and I don’t know if I have anything at all to say in return. Even when everything within me is telling me to cancel the whole thing, shrink back to what’s comfortable, and just stop trying already and admit that I don’t have what it takes.
Even on the days when fear feels so much more real than the dream.
Like today.
I keep going anyway.
Here’s some fitting Simple Abundance inspiration on the topic⤵
“Self-doubt is so insidious that it not only renders us stuck in our lives,
but it also actually weakens our ability to dream about what living unleashed would look like first.”
—Danielle LaPorte
“Few women believe they are successful because they don’t feel successful.
In the deepest recesses of our hearts, we feel like failures—counterfeits, frauds.
But even if we know we are successful, we rarely admit it. The world does not like braggarts.
And we want the world—every last person in it—to like us.
We suffer from a potent combination of public and private conditioning over a lifetime.”
—Sara Ban Breathnach
“The next time you feel frightened and fragile, stand very still.
If you do, you might feel the tip of an angel’s wing brush against your shoulder.”
—Sara Ban Breathnach
Today, dear one, whatever’s on your plate this morning, whatever’s in your heart and on your mind, whatever big dream won’t leave you alone, I hope you keep stepping forward—whatever that means for you.
It won’t be easy.
You won’t feel great about every step.
But if you keep stepping forward, anything can happen. Absolutely anything.
💛
One Week Later: Here’s how it went. . .
I did it. A few hours after sending last Friday’s message to you, I packed a bag and drove to the PITCH Conference in Portland, Maine, where I met my new literary agent.
Maybe.
I had as many possible ducks in a row, a notebook full of notes, and a heart full of courage and hope. (Thank you for sending so many “cheering you on” messages last week—it meant so much to me.)
I showed up early and made small talk with other writers. I listened to a panel of literary agents talking about what they’re looking for in a would-be author. I wrote down every single thing they said. I drank a little too much coffee and had to munch on the stale Clif bar in my bag to keep from getting jittery. Then, when they called my appointment time, I walked over to the table and, honest-to-God, felt like I was sitting down to have a chat with an old friend.
It. Was. Great.
We talked about the query letter and manuscript pages I sent her. I admitted this was my first time pitching to a literary agent and that I only wrote in my spare time while working full-time and homeschooling my kiddos. I told her I had a lot of encouragement for women, was harboring more than a few manuscripts on my computer, and needed someone to help me navigate the publishing world.
She had three pieces of advice⤵
Rework the manuscript with my feedback.
Consider joining Substack.
Get back in touch whenever you’re ready.
She said a lot more, too—all of it encouraging. (Not all agents are like this. I’m so thankful I chose one so aligned with what I do—email me if you want me to share how I did that.) And at the end of it, I felt like hugging her. But since I thought that might be weird to do to someone I’d only known for 15 minutes, I said, “Thank you so much—you’ll be hearing from me,” and I walked out of there and got to work.
All of this to say something very important to you, dear reader ⤵
This is how big dreams go.
Lots of maybes,
Heaps of try-agains,
So much gratitude for every single one,
Because each one means we’re still going forward.
And if we keep stepping forward,
Anything can happen,
Absolutely anything.
If there’s something you know in your soul you were meant to do but you haven’t done it yet, if you tried and got a “try again”, a “maybe”, or a “not this time”, or if you just haven’t quite figured out whether you want to actually, truly go for it but you just can’t get it out of your mind, I hope that sharing my messy middle story with you today will convince you to give it another go.
I hope it lets you know it’s not easy for any of us.
I hope it helps you keep going.
This morning, I’m heading out to put the final touches on Creative Reset Retreat 2023 with my retreat partner Sara. We’re keeping registration open until we fill up or October 13th (whichever comes first), and we’ve still got a few spots left—let me know if you want one or email me if you have questions.
I’d love to see you there!