The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware
It’s true there are things we’d rather not think about, hey? I would put death, regret, taxes, illness, war, debt, global warming, mass shootings, and a few other things in that category. Which doesn’t exactly make them any less of a reality, but if you’re anything like me, sometimes seems necessary to live life without becoming a walking blob of despair.
However, I’m starting to realize. . .
Sometimes it’s good to consider things we’d rather not think about. Sometimes we’re not doing ourselves any favors by ignoring it. Sometimes we can change things in a big way with a little thought.
One example I came across recently. . .
“Our society has shut death out, almost as a denial of its existence. This denial leaves both the dying person and the family or friends totally unprepared for something that is inevitable. We are all going to die. But rather than acknowledge the existence of death, we try to hide it. It is as if we are trying to convince ourselves that ‘out of sight, out of mind’ really works. But it doesn’t because we carry on trying to validate ourselves through our material life and associated fearful behaviour instead. If we are able to face our own inevitable death with honest acceptance, before we have reached that time, then we shift our priorities well before it is too late. This gives us the opportunity to then put our energies into directions of true value.” (Top Five Regrets…)
Shifting our priorities well before it’s too late —I’m not sure I’ve ever read anything that hit me quite this way. . .
Because, while we certainly can’t avoid death, I’m learning that it rarely serves us to deny that it’s coming.
I’m learning that it might be best to go ahead and shift our priorities as if we don’t know how many tomorrows we have. Because in truth, we don’t. . .
I don’t usually read books about dying, illness, or death because honestly, they tend to leave me pretty low. And while I’ve written a little in the past about my mom’s illness and my resulting battle with anxiety that came from being so deeply, incredibly unprepared for her death and having so many regrets about it, I don’t write about it a lot. I’m still processing it, still working through it. Also, as a general rule, I only write to you about books I’ve already fully read that have shifted my life in some way. But today, in keeping with our messy middle theme of late, I’m writing about a book that’s changing my life while I’m in the messy middle of it — Bronnie Ware’s The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
You may have read this book ages ago since it was published to much acclaim in 2012, but I didn’t.
I thought it was a fad book.
Honestly, in 2012, death and dying rarely crossed my mind. But as they say, it feels like I’ve lived a thousand lives since then. So when someone gave me The Top Five Regrets of the Dying earlier this year and I skimmed the words on its pages for the first time, it felt like the right time to let it in.
I’m not finished yet—I’m officially on page 64, although I’ve glanced through the late chapters quite a bit and dog-eared some of the really good stuff. Honestly though, every chapter has some really good stuff. I’m forcing myself to go slow. I don’t want to rush this book’s pages. I want to savor it. I want to let the words go deep. So I’m breaking my rule about not recommending books I haven’t finished yet because something was telling me someone needs to know this today —
This book is good. It’s really good.
Also, it’s not a book that leaves a person low.
This book is actually making my heart soar. Every single morning over coffee, the words of this little book are teaching me something about living. Maybe because the author Bronnie Ware is a nomad like me. Maybe because she’s Australian and I have a special place in my heart for everything Aussie. Or maybe this book is just that profound. Either way, her words are helping me shift my priorities and live life differently.
I’m realizing that this book actually may be the reason I’ve started getting serious about quite a few of my long-forgotten big dreams again.
It’s funny how a good book can do that. . .
Whatever’s going on in your world this morning, dear reader, whatever you’ve been battling, facing, putting off, ignoring, or wading through. Whatever’s been keeping you up at night or lying buried underneath all your distractions and to-dos, I hope you know you’re not alone. I hope you know there are people and stories that can really help. (And if you’re the person who might just be the reason I felt so inclined to write about this particular book today, I hope you take this email as a sign that someone’s looking out for you.)
💛
Here’s where you can find out more about Bronnie Ware and why she wrote The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
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Here’s her advice for dealing with our own regrets right now.
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If you’re a Tedx lover, here’s where you can watch Bronnie’s Ted Talk.
We’re keeping registration open until we fill up or until next Friday, October 13th (whichever comes first), and we’ve got a few spots left—let me know if you want one or if you have questions.
The Maine autumn air is crisp, the light is shifting and the fall leaves are vibrant and beautiful. All of these shifts are reminding us of what a perfect time this is to recenter, reset, reconnect to ourselves and nature, and retreat together!
We chose "Creative Reset" as our retreat theme because we believe in the power of creativity to transform a woman's life. We believe in this because we've experienced that power ourselves as we've built daily creative practices into our lives, and we want you to have the opportunity to experience that power for yourself, too.
Get ready for relaxing on the porch at Yellow House, delicious food, firepit conversations, oceanfront sunrises, moments of meditation, reflection, journaling, watercolor art, and wandering through mountain trails, ocean paths, and shop-lined streets of Acadia and Bar Harbor.