Journaling prompts to help when things get sticky at home
If you don't have anything nice to say... journal your heart out first.
We've probably all heard the saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I've used it with my kids at least 100 times. But let's face it - sometimes if we want genuine togetherness in our family relationships, we need to say things that we know may not go over well, and there may not be a very nice way to do it. On top of that, sometimes we feel grumpy or have hormones that aren't helping us either. In those moments, I think we have three choices:
We can fly off the handle, bottle it up and wait for a better time, or find a way to say it with the love they deserve.
I don't think anyone would recommend flying off the handle, but I may have just a bit of experience in the "bottling it up" category and I can tell you that while waiting for a better time can certainly be a good idea, "bottling it up" long-term is extremely unhealthy. (Don't ask me how I know.) So, that just leaves finding a way to say it with the love they deserve.
The good news is that while we may only have one shot with the words that leave our lips, we have an unlimited amount of practice available in our journals.
If you're a part of our email group, remember the e-book you received when you joined "10 Surefire Ways to Build Togetherness into Your Everyday"? Number 9 on that list is SAY HARD THINGS, and it certainly applies here:
"Being willing to say the hard things means immediately trading a heavy heart for a light one; it means not wasting even one second or forfeiting even one ounce of the joy that is possible. By saying the hard things today, we are giving ourselves the gift of time with the ones we love, because when we're willing to face things head-on and get the clutter out right away, we have so much more left to give."
Isn't that so true? I wish I could get back all of the time I've wasted in the past when I felt like I couldn't say what I needed to. There is truly so much freedom and so much more room for genuine connection when we're able to get that thing off our chest, but you probably already know that doesn't give us permission to say hard things fresh off the presses of our brains. Instead, we may need some time to get the words out right.
So, we can use these journaling prompts to help us wade through our cluttered minds and let our hearts shine through:
What would you say if you had to talk about this at this very second? Write it out with a pencil (slow and steady).
What words would you use to talk about this if you knew you wouldn't be interrupted? Write them all down.
Read through and cross out anything that's not entirely what you mean. Cross through the things most likely to be misinterpreted.
Read through the words slowly and put yourself in the receiver's shoes.
How would it make you feel to hear this from someone you love?
Are there pieces you can reword?
Which parts need to be said now and what needs to wait?
How could you say what you need to say more clearly?
Can you find the love shining through yet? If not, start over again.
I bet you could add to that list of prompts, but I hope this helps get your juices flowing the next time you need to say something difficult in your family.
This weekend, I hope you're able to keep your heart light and say what you need to say to the people you love. And I hope you know that whether it's "I love you" or "I'm so thankful for you" or something a little more like "I'm not sure you're listening to me" or "Can we talk about something difficult?", you have someone cheering you on.
How do you prepare to say hard things to the people you love when you need to?
Come on over to the email group and join the conversation.