The One Thing You Probably Forget as a Mom but Shouldn't
There’s one thing you’re probably forgetting as a mom right this very minute.
Okay, there’s more than one, but only one that really matters a lot.
It’s this - You have to take care of yourself.
Let me tell you why.
Last Friday, as soon as I hit the Send button on our Togetherness Tip, I was overcome with the idea to write this one and I've been fleshing it out in my notebook all week long. I don't normally write these Togetherness Tips so early, but as I was thinking about what stands in my way of getting family togetherness right so many times, this realization hit me like a freight train:
It's so hard to show respect, speak with kindness, and prioritize togetherness with the people we love the most when we don't feel our best.
Little did I know I was about to have a week full of not feeling my best moments. I often forget to be thankful for feeling good until something comes along that takes it away, and this week we've had rough weather that kept us up for hours more than a few nights in a row, sealing the deal for me that I had to write about taking care of ourselves this week.
Here's my story...
August 18 probably doesn't seem like a super-important day to most people.
It's not the traditional time to set a new course for one's life or to set resolutions, new diet plans, new exercise regimes, or anything of the sort. But last year, on August 18 (after seeing a passport photo of myself that looks like I got stung by a bee and is seriously scary enough to make babies cry) I decided I had to start taking better care of myself in a big way, and it's made all the difference in the world. (More on the how below.)
I wish I could tell you that was the first time I'd had to make that decision in my life.
The truth is that I've made deep and drastic changes for my health several times as an adult, done really well for months and months, and then totally fallen off the wagon in a spiral of processed foods, sleep deprivation, and lack of exercise that left me right back in unhealthy mode.
Right now, five months on, I feel like a new person.
I've dropped all kinds of inches and inflammations, sworn off meat completely, am consistently choosing fruits and veggies over dairy and gluten, and I've prioritized exercise, prayer, and even taken up meditation.
But I can see that fork in the road again - it's about time for me to go back to my old ways if I allow history to repeat itself.
But guess what? This time, I won't do it.
How do I know? Because this time I have help. And I'm sharing that help with you in case you could use a few boosters to help you take care of yourself too.
Here are 5 big buckets of resources to help us be our best for our families:
#1 - Guard our hearts.
If we're going to take care of ourselves, we have to start with our hearts. For me, a lot of that is watching what I read. A few weeks ago, I was listening to an audiobook about achieving personal and professional goals, and the author talked about her family like this, "...and then the hellions down the hall wake up..." I was disgusted and my mood was wrecked for more than a few hours. Eventually, I had to stop and ask myself why I was so fired up, angry, and incensed by these words, and I discovered it was because this book has been read by thousands and thousands of women already and is receiving a lot of attention right now, and it's filled with phrases that encourage women to consider their children as distractions from their best work. I should have just stopped listening to that book right then, but I didn't. I let myself get even more fired up by finishing the thing, and I may have bought girl scout cookies that very same week and gotten a little off-track in my healthy food choices. Coincidence? I think not.
If you're like me and you need to watch what you read to guard your heart, my biggest suggestion is to reach out to trusted sources for book recommendations that promote family-loving principles. I'm currently reading Simplicity Parenting and Mitten Strings for God - two recommendations from two ladies who always give me great book recommendations, and I'm also starting up a little book club with some traveling friends with the book Creating Innovators to help us with our homeschools too! If you're looking for friends who give great book recommendations, let me know what kind of books you're looking for and I'll send you a few sources I trust - I've been down the rabbit hole with a few and have found some great reading friends online.
#2 - Guard our minds.
I know there are some of you out there that may not love personal development articles, books, podcasts, and social media accounts as much as I do, but no matter how you feel about them, I bet you can at least agree with me that we're all filling our minds with something. Whether it's conversations with friends, news, Netflix, or television sitcoms, (or maybe even books would fit here for you - they're probably not in the heart category for everyone), what goes into our minds eventually comes out of our mouths and spills over our families over and over again. So, we have to take special care in guarding what goes into our minds to keep control of what comes out of our mouths.
I could go on and on in this category to tell you how thankful I am that we quit cable television over six years ago or how worried I am that my kids' love for shoot-em-up video games will leave them talking about strange things I can't understand for years, but instead, I'll leave you with the one way I guard my own mind whenever I find my own mouth saying things I don't want to say - I go on a walk, pray, read Scripture, and plug into the most positive, truth-giving friend or personal development teacher I can find. Then, before I know it, I'm out of my funk, finding myself speaking more like the fountain I want to be instead of the drain I sometimes am.
#3 - Eat more green stuff (and less of everything else).
When we sort through all of the hoopla about diet plans and weight loss and which foods do this or that for our bodies, the food element of taking care of ourselves really seems to boil down to one thing - eat more of the good stuff and less of the rest. You may have your own gurus that you love, and I say, get back to them (and share them with me!). The two books that I go back to again and again for help with this are Kris Carr's Crazy Sexy Diet and Joel Fuhrman's Eat to Live. If I'm tempted to go for the animal products because I'm feeling super hungry, I go to these two books for a plant protein recipe. If I'm feeling extra depleted, I look at these two books for vitamin recommendations. And basically, at the end of the day, there's very little that can't be solved with a good recipe and a big dose of water, sunshine, green smoothies, and a few Vitamin C and B gummies.
#4 - Move our bodies.
It really is so important to get out and move our bodies for at least 30-60 minutes every single day. There are literally hundreds of research studies showing how important it is to exercise every single day and how much damage we do to ourselves by refusing to exercise. Back problems, hip problems, blood pressure problems, heart problems, and all sorts of other issues pop up when we don't prioritize moving our bodies, and then, those problems make us feel like not moving, so the cycle just gets worse. We can literally reverse all of that by moving our bodies more every single day. Walk, run, dance, hike, join a gym, go to a class, park a mile away from where you're going and walk, or if you tend to be on the shy side, take up a yoga practice with an app like this one I love. Start with 10 minutes a day, then 15, then 20, and before you know it, you'll be moving 60 minutes every single day. You don't have to do it all at once either - take the baby for a 10-minute walk around the block six times a day, go around the block a time or two between meetings or after every meal, take the stairs a few extra times, do whatever you have to do to get moving. I bet you'll feel the difference the very first day.
#5 - Get our zzz's.
I'm not a big sleeper. Sources say I never have been. So, I normally run best on 5-6 hours of sleep every night for a while and then my body rebels and I have to do 9-10 hours for a few nights to catch up. I hate it, but it keeps me humble and helps me stay productive, so I guess it works. No matter what your sleep routine is, I bet you can feel it when you haven't had enough sleep in your life (and our families can feel it too). When I'm not getting enough sleep, it colors my whole day dark. If you ever struggle with sleep, I hope you already have an arsenal of help, but just in case you don't, here are my go-to remedies:
Water - so much water
Pile on the exercise - 90-120 minutes a day
Unplug the TV for at least a week
Shut down social media for days, weeks, or months
Dump your brain in a paper journal (get those ideas out)
And if you struggle with insomnia, please see a professional with a good holistic mindset - I struggled with this in college and didn't get the help I needed. Reach out, mama!
And that's it - those are the best ways I know to take care of ourselves so that we can be at the top of our game, feeling our best, and able to give all kinds of love to the people we love the most.
What about you? What kind of tips do you have for taking care of yourself that I totally missed?
Come on over to the email list and share - I'd love to hear them!