How to Linger With Your Kids in a Good Way
I sip my coffee and read my book, looking over at my kids sipping their cocoa and reading their own books.
I need to start writing, return emails, and get on with my to-do list for today, but I don't want to break the magic of this moment.
I want to remember his cute face buried in a book and the way his eyes sparkle when he gets to the exciting parts, how a sweet laugh escapes him when something funny or sinister happens. I want to remember how he reads the best lines aloud no matter what the rest of us are doing and how we constantly have to remind him to copy those bits into his book journal.
I want to remember how one kid forgets to eat his breakfast because the story has swept him away while the other tries to sneak extra marshmallows from the bag when he thinks I'm not looking, how one tries to sip his cocoa while it's piping hot and the other waits happily until it cools to room temperature.
I want to remember it all, so I linger.
My coffee goes cold. I’m deep into my book. I’m deep into this moment. I linger still.
There's a part of me that worries I'll miss an important email or lose an idea I really need to get down, but I linger still, afraid that even a small move will break the spell.
The surprising part is that all of this magic takes less than the amount of time I was afraid it might. My emails and to-do lists are still there when the magic passes. As it turns out, I didn’t miss a thing.
But this memory - I almost missed it.
I know I've missed far too many in the past - casualties of my rushing on to the next thing on my list. But these days, I'm somehow more aware that it's all slipping by too quickly, and I want to make the most of every magical moment.
The morning kiss from a little one that was extra sweet. The cuddle that was extra tight. The conversation that made my heart skip a beat.
I want a way to grab hold of every single magical family moment.
So I'm trying to remember to linger.
I got the idea from a book I read recently called Off the Clock where the author Laura Vanderkam shares the seven time-related habits that time-wealthy people share. One of those habits is adding time into our schedules to linger. Planning to linger. Feeling pleasure and noticing that we're feeling it.
Embracing the discipline of joy.
Savoring those magical family moments the way we would savor the most exquisite food or drink or experience.
It's been quite the paradigm shift for me, and to be honest, I haven't mastered it quite yet.
My default still seems to be rushing from one thing to another.
My guess is you can relate.
We get everyone fed and loved-on in the morning and rush to the next thing. We gather around lunch and then we're off again. We come back together for dinner, and we've barely put the last bites in our mouths before we're up cleaning the dishes, scrubbing the countertops, and getting into our bedtime routine.
Sometimes we just want to press PAUSE, but it feels too hard.
Last night, my husband pressed that PAUSE button for me. As we finished dinner, I asked if we could chat about some family budget changes while I washed up, and he said,
"How about we save the dishes and talk by the campfire instead?"
Yes.
A million times yes.
So we did. We lingered by the campfire for an hour, and you know what? Those dishes waited. Everything waited. And I got to savor a stolen hour with my husband while we lingered by the campfire.
I can't help but laugh as I look back and see that I wrote about a similar togetherness tip around this time last year. Maybe it has something to do with the aching feeling that comes every August letting me know that summer is officially on its last limb for this year, or maybe it's because I let myself get too scattered and stressed trying to plan my homeschool every August. Or maybe I just need a reminder every once in a while.
Let's linger.
Let's watch our family togetherness soar.
Let's watch those to-do lists wait while we make memories and build the kind of family life we've always dreamed of.
I'm setting an alarm to remind me to do this right now.