Mom-Guilt: Don't Even Think About It

There’s a big, ugly lump of mom-guilt on my plate almost every single day.

I thought it would go away if I just spent more time with my kids, if I just cooked healthier meals, connected with them on a deeper level, homeschooled, read more books together, went on amazing adventures, if I just pushed through the overwhelm and smiled. For years I’ve been doing all I can to get that mom-guilt to go away.

But all these years later, I still get served that same big, ugly lump of mom-guilt every single day.

After talking with other moms, I’ve realized that we all get served up a lump of mom-guilt from time to time. Working moms feel like they work too much. Stay-at-home moms feel like they’re overwhelmed too much. Moms of older kids feel like they didn’t do enough when they were little and the years are slipping away. Moms of little kids feel like they’re running on empty and it still isn’t enough.

The truth is that we love our kids so much that nothing will ever be good enough for them in our eyes – no matter how much we do.

There will never be enough time, connection, healthy meals, amazing experiences, quality adventures, or meaningful moments. We will never read enough research, buy enough books, make enough green smoothies. But we sure are giving it everything we’ve got anyway, and we will never stop.

So now, when I get served up that lump of mom-guilt, I know that I don’t have to take it. I can leave it right there on my plate and walk away. And you can too.

• We are giving it everything we’ve got, and they can see that.

• We are showing them love.

• We are investing in ourselves and going after our dreams, and that sets a good example for them.

• We are overwhelmed sometimes, but it will get easier.

• We are reaching out for resources and making ourselves better.

• We are setting boundaries so that everyone is safe.

• We are taking care of them and ourselves.

• We are there.

And that is nothing to feel guilty about.

So, here's a little note to that mom-guilt that plops itself on my plate every day: (Feel free to make it your own as well.)

I see you sitting there, you nasty little lump, and you can just keep on sitting there. I’m walking away and getting on with the business of loving my kids, providing for them in ways you can’t even imagine. You don’t know the whole story and you never will. I don’t have to explain myself, my work, or my parenting choices to you. I don’t have time to sit with you today. There are people who need me. See ya.

Does mom-guilt ever come your way? How do you handle it?

Come join the email group and share your ideas – I’d love to hear them!