My Number One Tip When Life Throws a Curveball

"I wasn't expecting that... What do we do now?"

The longer I'm on this planet, the more I realize that life rarely goes the way I plan. Whether it be in the form of a big announcement, a diagnosis, a dream deferred, a family member's outburst, or another something coming out of left field, it's safe to say that we've all been thrown for a loop by at least one or two curveballs in our lives.

In those moments when the you-know-what hits the fan, I often find myself wondering, "How are we going to hold it all together this time?"

And time after time, this is the number one thing that gets us through:

Lean in.

Listen.

Follow your gut.

It's so tempting to react, pull away, and panic (and I've definitely done my fair share of it from time to time), but when we lean in and listen instead, good things happen.

It's so tempting to spiral into a frenzy of indecision, call everyone I know for their advice, and sit in a sad, sorry pile of pity unable to move, but when I follow my gut and take a step forward instead, really good things happen.

Just like a mama bird follows her inner voice telling her when it's time to nest, hunt, and feed, what type of tree to choose, and where to lay her eggs, we have a guide in our guts if we listen to it.

Here's what it looks like in my corner of the world:

1 - As a newlywed in my early 20's when we found out our first baby was on his way into the world, we found ourselves in a sticky financial situation. We had to move out of a hopeless fixer-upper, and I knew I needed to quit my job and stay home with this baby, but there didn't seem to be a way. We asked our mentor at the time for advice, and he gave advice I knew wasn't right for us. So I leaned into my husband, listened to my heart, and we crunched numbers, got moved, and I quit my job to stay home with the baby anyway - searching day and night for stay-at-home mom jobs. It wasn't easy (we even had to take WIC vouchers for a couple of months before we got it all together), but I knew I had to follow my gut and stay at home with the baby no matter the cost, and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I've ever made. I know it's not the decision most moms make, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to do it, so I did it, and I've been pressing the envelope to work from home and be with my babies ever since.

2 - A few years later, I was mama to two babies with all kinds of crazy good stuff happening in my life. But as I started looking ahead to the next 5 years with my hubby, we realized that the life we had built for ourselves would never help us reach our biggest hopes and dreams. We weren't thriving, and we knew it. We could have blamed each other, blamed the kids, or given up on our dreams, but instead, we took a deep breath, leaned into a few hundred hard conversations with each other, tried our best to listen (man, it's hard!), and we came away knowing what we needed to do to get back on track. It was weird and completely unconventional, and it was a hard decision to make. We knew our family and friends wouldn't completely understand. In fact, we didn't even tell anyone until the final papers were all drawn up because we didn't want to be talked out of our decision. And even though we didn't know a soul living life the way we were about to live it, we followed our gut and entered the world of full-time family travel. Six years later, we are so thankful we did because it was exactly where we needed to be.

3 - Now, as a mom of a teen and tween, when one of my kiddos tells me something is going wrong and it catches me off guard, I try my best to breathe deeply, wrap him up in a giant hug, and say "Tell me more" with everything within me. Then I listen hard and say the words, "We'll figure this out," and I write notes to remind myself to keep talking and listening in the days to come. We make lists, look for solutions, and do the research. I try to teach him about compromise, overcoming the tough stuff, and using his creativity to solve things. I let him teach me too. And then, I pray and write some more, dig deep into my gut, and make a decision. Do we need to make a change or give it more time? We make a decision. Do we need help or should we keep researching and trying solutions? We make a decision. I know I won't get it just right every time, but I'm going to keep trying because the alternative (sitting in a heap feeling sorry for myself) never works anyway.

Here's how I've seen these gems pop up for a few people I admire:

1 -  I've had the great privilege in my 37 years to do life with people who have leaned into me, listened to me, and taught me how to follow my gut - parents who told me I was smart enough to do anything and taught me how to trust God and follow His leading; a sister who believes I'm the expert even when I'm not; a husband who can tell when my mind is made up and who loves and supports me more than I ever knew I could be loved and supported; and friends, coworkers, and teachers who share their good times and bad times with me, showing me the value of engaging with people when I really want to run and hide, and modeling lives lived with God's Spirit as their guide. Doing life with these people has been the greatest teacher about leaning in, listening, and following my gut I could ever have.

2 -  Kristen Noel - the editor of Best Self Magazine and someone I'm so grateful to have met and gleaned from in person - spends her days changing lives, and she's not afraid to tell us that the decision to step into healing and wholeness starts with our own selves. She's inspired me on countless occasions, but this post from her blog says so much about moving forward. If you're looking for a way to move forward, get yourself a subscription to Best Self and dig into Kristen's blog. I know you'll love it.

3 - Marie Forleo's Everything is Figureoutable philosophy has many facets, and one of them is leaning into your intuition and following the very dream that's tugging on your soul. Marie is a lady I deeply admire and have learned a million things from this year, and her new book is filled with tons of strategies for going after big dreams. It's edgy, but if you're okay with that, it's a book I highly recommend (especially on Audible). 

And here's the CliffsNotes version for anyone in a rush:

When something crashes the plan, close your mouth, open your heart, lean into your family, and search for that thing deep in your heart - the one thing you know you really want to do for your family. It just won't leave you alone, even though you're not 100% sure it's going to work out.

Do it.

Find a way.

Make a way.

Be the way.

Follow your instinct. You'll be so glad you did.

And I'm right here with ya.

What's your go-to when life throws you a curveball?

Come on into the email group - I'd love to hear about it!