How to Splurge Where It Really Counts For Your Family

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Money can be tricky, can't it?

There have been times in my adult life when I've had to scrape together spare change to buy enough milk and bread to get by until payday, and there have been other times when I couldn't get to the store fast enough to spend the cash burning a hole in my bank account.

There have been times when we packed sandwiches on every family outing so we wouldn't have to spend money on restaurant food and other times when we visited the best restaurant in town and told our kids to order anything on the menu.

And I can't think about this topic without acknowledging that some people on our planet never have the privilege of knowing the feeling of abundance. In fact, there may be someone reading these words right now feeling the tightness in your chest at just the mention of money. I know the feeling well.

For most of us, though, the questions linger:

How much is okay to spend to make our big family dreams happen right now?

How much is too much? How much is not enough?

How much should we save for bigger family dreams in the future?

Will we have enough later on if we go all out on our big dreams right now?

While I don't know the answer to these questions for your specific situation (Sorry!), I do know that we can make the most of family adventure opportunities when we're intentional about our splurges.

I know what it feels like to splurge where it counts and to regret not splurging when it really could have counted.

Maybe you can relate.

For me, it comes down to those once-in-a-lifetime type of experiences - taking advantage of them or leaving them on the table.

Here's where I think I got it right recently:

I always try to do something special with my kids right before we end our summer break and head back to school. This Monday was my last chance to do it, and at 9:00 a.m., I had no idea what I might be able to pull together. Then, I heard my husband and a friend talking about how much they wanted to try e-bikes, and I realized I had been hearing my kids say the same thing for months. So I looked up the prices and realized that renting e-bikes for the day would be a splurge - a stretch for our current finances - but not impossible, and it would be something we'd never forget. The timing and opportunity were there. (We live in Acadia National Park's backyard, so it would take only about 10 minutes to drive to the rental shop and we could access the park's network of 45 miles of carriage roads from there.) The only thing standing in my way was my old mindset saying that $240 was too much to spend on 4 hours of fun.

It made me think about the time almost seven years ago when we put everything we had on the line to buy an Airstream travel trailer and start traveling as a family. We weren't sure it was a wise investment and we didn't have anything to fall back on, but we did it anyway. It was a gamble that has more than paid for itself in memories, experiences, and an opening of our hearts, minds, and lives in ways I can't find the words to express.

Both investments (one small and one tremendous) were definitely worth it.

I haven't heard my kids have that much fun in months. Heck, I haven't had that much fun in months either. By the time we were finished, $240 felt like a steal. I can't believe I almost missed it.

Actually, I can believe it, because I've missed plenty of times.

Here's where I know I got it wrong:

I could have bought tickets for Hamilton when it came to Boston and Harry Potter and the Cursed Child on Broadway last summer, and I didn't do it. I thought the ticket price was too high. I didn't understand the value. We chose to see something cheaper instead, and both of the plays we saw were amazing, but I wish I had gone for the big ones. I never dreamed that one year later, theaters would be closed because of a pandemic and I would be here in Maine not sure when I might have another opportunity like that.

I've also passed up heaps of other smaller ticket items that I wish I could go back and do with my family - the nice restaurant I thought was too expensive, the giant sequoia in California with an admission price I thought was too cheesy, the extra day at the ski slopes I thought we couldn't afford, and too many others to count.

I should have splurged. It would have been so worth it.

Recently, I've recognized that I have quite a few limiting mindsets around money, and they've been holding me back from going after my biggest dreams in life. We all carry experiences with us from childhood, and our parents do too, so a lot of us who were born in places where poverty was (and still is) an extreme reality probably have some mindset challenges in the finance department.

To get over a few of my limiting money mindsets, I listened to Jen Sincero's book You Are a Badass at Making Money, and it was one of the most activating books I've listened to in quite a while. It helped me get over quite a few of my limiting mindsets. (It has some language, so if that sort of thing bothers you, consider yourself warned.)

I also watched a MarieTV interview with Kate Northrup (about 5 times!) that still challenges me and moves my money mindsets to this day. It's called 4 Money Beliefs that Limit Your Wealth Inside and Out - I highly recommend it.

Here are a few other interviews on money helping me right now:

And all of this - the teaching and the living - has taught me that it's about the value exchange, not about the actual dollars and cents.

It's more about the experience than the price tag - more about how much family togetherness we'll get out of it rather than how much we'll spend.

So, when an opportunity comes my way these days, I try to ask myself, "How much would this experience be worth to me?" BEFORE I look at the price.

Then, if the actual price is around the same price I valued it at, I know I'm getting a good deal, and if it's not, then I re-evaluate.

For more on this (and to see why I say "The money you need already exists; you just have to move it."), check out Traveling More: Could We Afford It?

What about you?

What have you learned about splurging where it counts on big family dreams?

Hop into the email group and join the discussion.

Here’s a highlight from that e-bike day with my kiddos.

(I'm still smiling big, goofy smiles because of it.)

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Courage, Tips, TogethernessCeleste Orrfamily adventure, family budget, family dreams, how much does it cost to travel full-time, how to pay for family travel, money4 Comments