How to Unplug for Happy Healthy Holidays this Year
Pumpkin pies, big smiles, chats by the fireside, wrapping paper carpeting the floor, and so many yummy casseroles in our bellies we can hardly breathe - we want it all. Every good memory. Every warm feeling. Every bit of healthy, happy holiday family togetherness. But how do we get it?
How do we choose smiles and laughter over stress and worry?
How can we be the mamas dancing in the kitchen to John Mayer tunes and creating new inside jokes that our kids will talk about for years instead of the ones trying to be and do it all for everyone and collapsing in a heap each night because of it?
How do we choose connection over distraction?
How can we be the mamas cooking chocolate chip waffles and making gingerbread houses instead of the ones saying "one more minute" with our faces glued to our screens.
How do we have happy, healthy holiday family togetherness on the tail end of a year like this?
With the CDC still recommending no holiday travel and many states having to issue stay-at-home warnings again, many of us are finding stress more common than holiday cheer this year. I may not have all the answers for everything this year has brought our way, but I do know one thing that can help - a lot.
We can unplug and lean in to our people.
Here's how:
#1 - Unplug from the phone.
We can set our phones aside for long stretches. We can set limits around when and where we'll engage on social media rather than mindlessly scrolling. We can set limits around when we'll tackle our overfilled email inboxes. We can decide which phone calls to take and which ones to postpone until later. We can decide to read by the fire with our kids in the evenings rather than scroll news outlets or put on another YouTube video.
Recently I've started the practice of leaving my Apple watch in the bathroom drawer for weeks on end and setting my phone on silent and putting it in an out-of-the-way spot during specific times when I want to connect more deeply with my family. It helps - a lot - that I'm not distracted by dings and buzzes and beeps and that I have to go searching for my phone rather than have it close at hand.
#2 - Unplug from work.
We can use our vacation days this holiday season to make special memories (even if we have our own businesses or are stay-at-home moms whose work doesn't pay in cash). We can work early in the morning before our kids wake up - or late at night when they're asleep, for you night owls. We can schedule meetings around special family times. And most of us can even postpone a lot of "important" things while we press into family time this holiday season.
I take a lot of breaks from my work to hang out with my family - not as many as I'd like, but more and more every year. And here's what happens 100% of the time - After taking a break to unplug and be with my family, I always come back to work with better ideas, higher productivity, and the ability to go farther than I've ever gone before (and I'm a lot happier, too). Try it and see what it does for you.
#3 - Unplug from mindless television.
We can use the television for fun family holiday movie marathons instead of as a coping strategy or background noise. We can get into a series with each other or spend all day in the kitchen with our sticky kids while the Great British Baking Show sparks our curiosity and creativity. And we can turn off the television for long stretches in the day (if we're home) and at night to read by the fire or play board games or relax in the quiet.
I've told you before how giving up our cable subscription 6 years ago was the best thing we've ever done to reclaim family time in the evenings, and I'll echo that here. If we want to watch something specific, we do. Otherwise, our tv looks like a quiet, black box in the room, and our connection and conversations thrive without the hum of the tv distracting us.
#4 - Unplug from the drama.
We can tell our friends we're going to be out of touch for a little while as we lean into our families. We can tell extended family members that this has been a hard year for us and we need some time to relax. We can remove ourselves from the drama that always seems to come knocking during the holidays - especially since big family gatherings aren't this year.
And if there's someone hurting in our lives, we can reach out to them in a way that's healthy for us and our families. We can show love in lots of ways and set healthy boundaries at the same time. It's hard, but we can do it.
#5 - Get outside.
We may not be able to go all the places we normally go for the holidays this year, but we can get ourselves and our families outdoors, into nature, and unplugged in all the best ways. We can bundle up for a nature walk or a quick hike. We can roast marshmallows outside by the fire pit. We can learn new sports together, too. (My friend recently told me about the winter sport SkiMo - and now I have big dreams of ski sports with my family.)
My family is spending our first winter in Maine this year, and being from the south, I have to tell you, it's already quite the commitment to get out the door on the trail in the cold wind every day, but we do it because it keeps us happy and healthy. Find your place and get outside with your family. Buy the gear you need and get the hot cocoa ready for when you return.
#6 - Get into personal development.
We can read books and get into any number of online programs that will help us step into our best selves. We can listen to audiobooks while washing dishes and going on grocery runs. We can plug into classes while we exercise or fold laundry or tidy up the house. We can break out of our ruts, grow bigger than our bad habits, and discover personal strength like we've never had before. We can invest in ourselves and be strong and ready for whatever comes our way next year.
Over the past couple of years, I've been reading a ton of personal development books and listening to uplifting, encouraging podcasts - so much so that I've even started calling myself a personal development junkie. I love the growth that's happening in my life because of it (even when it's uncomfortable). And right now, I'm teaching two personal development courses myself - 21 Mindsets for Big Change and Mamas Who Write - and finding myself more inspired than ever by the growth I'm seeing in the mamas I'm working with there.
One of my favorite moments was last week when one of the ladies in Mamas Who Write said, "I used to wake up and scroll on my phone first thing every morning, but I'm loving my mornings right now. I wake up and read my motivators and prompt from Celeste and get to writing, and before I know it, my husband is asking me if I'm going to write all day or if we might could have some breakfast." Personal growth is contagious, and this is one thing I'm glad to be catching and giving this year.
#7 - Redefine the way our families do the holidays.
If there's ever been a year to reevaluate and reset and redefine how we do family holidays, it's this year. We can create new family traditions. We can redefine the way our family culture is growing. We can take control of our stress and plan ahead for our health. (For more on this, listen to my podcast interview with Camille Martin.) We can have healthy, happy holiday family togetherness this year.
Personally, I have plans to buy a great big Christmas tree and teach my kids how to decorate it with popcorn strings like we did when I was a kid - and we may even try our hand at homemade gingerbread houses, too.