7 Mamas Share: How's Your Family Doing Togetherness Right Now?
My cup of tea just went cold. Again.
I was caught up in firing emails back and forth with mama friends in our email group and before I knew it, the cup of tea I had been so looking forward to just a few minutes before was suddenly worthless. But you know what, who cares? You, mama, are a blessing to me, and every time you take a moment to respond in the email group, it makes me so happy that I have to let you know.
The longer I live on this earth the more I realize that sharing stories, good books, and great ideas with positive people makes having a happy, healthy, full-to-the-brim kind of life a whole lot easier.
Right now, with quarantines and pandemic limits going on and on, it's becoming clear to all of us that togetherness has to be intentional - now more than ever - and that we may need help making it happen.
A few weeks ago, a friend of mine (one of the Homeschool Sisters who's always rocking useful stuff online) posted an article I immediately loved. She shared tips from her blogger friends about three things helping them in their homeschools during the pandemic. I loved reading each mama's three things, and I thought the article was brilliant. So, I emailed my friend and asked if we could use her idea to talk about family togetherness here, and she said yes, so I gathered up a few of my new good mama friends and they had some stellar tips for you.
Check out what these Togetherness Redefined mamas said is helping them rock family togetherness right now:
Karlee Phelps @phelpsfamilyroadtrip
#1 - Staggered bedtimes
When I was pregnant with my second, multiple friends recommended setting aside 10-15 minutes per day for 1-on-1 time with each kid. I didn’t get why everyone felt they needed to give me the same advice. What do these people do all day? I was sure I could give each of my kids way more than 15 minutes of my undivided attention. Now as a mother of 3 (ages 1, 3, and 7), I find it almost impossible to give undivided attention to anyone or anything for more than about 30 seconds. About a year ago, we started staggering the kids' bedtimes. Each kid gets 1-on-1 time (sometimes 2-on-1 if both my husband and I are available). We start with the youngest because he needs the most sleep and is less capable of entertaining himself during someone else’s turn. The kids don’t fight bedtime as much because they look forward to their special time with mom or dad. Whether you choose bedtime or another cue — keep it short, keep it simple, be consistent.
#2 - Weekly traditions
When the days start running together, it helps to have markers throughout the week. In our family, we have “Nacho Sunday” every week. At first, the kids complained, “Ahhh not nachos AGAIN!” But after 3 months or so, everyone was on board. “It’s Myyyy Sunday, Na-cho Sunday!” and similar jokes keep things lively. Whether we've gone grocery shopping or not, we almost always have tortilla chips and cheese. We switch up the toppings and dips each week. Now everyone looks forward to it. Like any other family tradition, Nacho Sunday has become part of our family identity and has strengthened everyone’s sense of belonging.
#3 - Dance parties
My husband and I are NOT dancers. I’m certain you would be embarrassed for us if you watched us dance together. But little kids don’t care about clumsy dance moves or out-of-tune singing. “[Kids] just wanna have fun!” We use dance parties as a RESET button when emotions start spiraling out of control. But the key is the grown-up(s) have to get into it. The sillier the better. I can’t think of a better why to encourage self-acceptance and positive body-image, than to dance like no one is watching.
Camille Martin camillemartinrd.com
#1 - Movies
We have been watching a scary movie (what we love!) every single day from 5-7, and we order takeout and have popcorn for dinner.
#2 - Living Room Camp Out
We did a campout in our living room with s'mores in the oven and special treats for dinner, which was amazing!
#3 - Group Chat
Something we've been doing that I LOVE is to have what we call "group chat" every night in my bed. The girls get under the covers with their dogs and they get to ask me any questions they want, and I promise to answer them completely honestly. Nothing is off-limits! We have had some of the most unbelievably bonding experiences through this time, and it's only for like 10 minutes. The best thing is that not only is it bonding; it spares me the feeling of dread of having to have these massive, sit-downs with them when "the time is right" (and how do you know when that is???). Plus it shows me where they are on their learning curve too!
Melissa Proffitt @melissaknoxproffitt
#1 - TV/Dessert night
Much like you talked about in a recent togetherness tip, we haven’t ever been big TV people. But lately, we’ve been in a season of watching different series and loving it! It all started with a Marvel movie marathon. Now it’s all over the map...sometimes reading series and then watching the movies like Hunger Games, and other times it’s finding a fun binge watch like Parks and Rec. We make a special trip to the store to all pick out our desserts to eat/make beforehand, and everyone hurries through dinner to get started.
#2 - Drives
Speaking of Parks and Rec, we’ve been regularly taking drives, windows down, through the “country” nearby, and one of our favorite directions to head is by a small farm where what we’ve deemed our own “Li'l Sebastian” lives. We’ll turn down the Hamilton soundtrack, pop music, 90’s grunge, or whatever we’re listening to, and bust out into a rendition of “bye-bye Li'l Sebastian” cracking ourselves up as we go by.
#3 - Hikes
We SO miss traveling and seeing new places. So we’ve made a point to find new hikes in our area. It’s amazing how calm and creative we all feel after time in nature.
Jenn Norrell
findingwalden.us
#1 - Mixing it up
We are mixing things up and giving ourselves grace to do things we might not do like staying up late together for no particular reason other than we are enjoying spending time together, playing Animal Crossing at breakfast on a Sunday so we can buy turnips, or baking and eating what might be considered way too many baked goods. We are breaking our own rules on some things just for the fun of it and right now that feels like just what our family needs.
#2 - Friday Night Pizza & Movies
We’ve reinstated Friday night pizza and movie nights. Sometimes it’s a documentary, but either way, we make pizza, turn on the Netflix/Disney+, turn our Airstream dinette into a huge couch and cozy up together. We even turned down an invite to dinner with our friends whose property we are staying on because we didn’t want to give it up last week. It's been a grounding point in our weeks, something to look forward to when things are blurring together.
#3 - Prioritizing Self-care
This may sound like I missed the point of #familytogetherness but I am putting myself first (or at least trying to actively include myself). Each day I am identifying three things I want to do for myself to feel good/productive/okay, inspired by Elise Blaha Cripe, and I write them down in my planner. Taking care of myself equals the capacity to actively and happily engage with my family
Jess Curren @jesscurren
#1 - Board Games
These last few months have been rough, but we are finding ways through uncertainty together as a family. Right when most of the country went into quarantine, I was able to stock up on a few new board games. In Idaho the weather in spring feels more like winter, so we had more then a few 'snow days' and spent time together learning, playing and eating goodies for hours.
#2 - Baking
My oldest daughter is very into baking and she's been experimenting with new recipes. Shes added macarons, apple turnovers, raspberry scones, cheesy drop biscuits, and cream puffs to her culinary repertoire. It's been fun to encourage her as a family, and eating treats together always helps us feel closer!
#3 - Getting Outside
A third thing we've been doing is getting outside as much as possible. At first, it was cross country ski dates with my husband and I, then as the weather warmed up, we would get takeout and sit on the grass at the park. Once the trails cleared we started hiking and biking together as a family. We are very blessed to live in a rural area that has plenty of outdoor opportunities. Being outside with my family definitely fills my tank and I'm grateful my kids will come with on some crazy adventures
Jacki Whiting onethingworthy.com
#1 - Big Saturday morning breakfasts
Celebrate being together. And while you get everything ready, slow down and let the kids help with what you’re doing. Yes, it’s slower and messier. But you’re together and they’re learning while savoring the quality time.
#2 - Random Party Days
Keep a stash of cheap party supplies for the dreary days. Get the kids, find something you’re thankful for and throw a party. Celebrate the One who gave you your blessings and enjoy the blessing!
#3 - More “Nos” for a better “Yes”
Be intentional with your commitments so you can give more of yourself in the right opportunities and not be overwhelmed with half-hearted involvement. More family time may mean taking back moments you’ve given elsewhere.
My own little family @celeste__orr
#1 - Breakfast and books
We are addicted to The Mysterious Benedict Society series right now on Audible, and listening to our book every morning at breakfast is bringing us so much family togetherness joy right now.
#2 - Read Aloud Revival Writers on Writing Workshops
While we normally run out of steam at the end of every school year and even end in a huff sometimes, this year, we're actually extending our school days just so we can take advantage of Read-Aloud Revival's WOW series. We're all writing fiction stories with each other every week and loving it. It's something I never thought we'd do, but it's bringing us some major togetherness mojo right now!
#3 - More Date Nights
We normally do date nights every Friday night, but right now, we're finding that we need them more than just once a week. So, we're trying it out with short date nights 2-3 times a week instead - long walks, movie nights, and campfire conversations just me and the hubs while the kids are doing their own thing.
What about your family? How are you prioritizing family togetherness right now?
Hop into the email group and shoot me a message - I love hearing from you!