If I don’t like who you’re voting for, can we still be friends?

A few weeks ago, I shared the books I’m reading to prepare for November 5th. A few hours later, I received this text from a good friend ⤵

“If I don’t like who you’re voting for, can we still be friends?”

In the email group message, I hadn’t shared how I would be voting. That was intentional. I always want this space to be safe, encouraging, and free from any chaos that might be sweeping through the nation where I was born. But my friend knows me well.

She knew. This is the friend I met five years ago when she found my travel blog, joined my email group, and we started bonding over Airstream stories. Since then, we’ve sent thousands of texts to each other and spent hours and hours on the phone chatting. We’ve encouraged each other through adventures and misadventures, kids launching into college, health questions, and so much life in between. We haven’t met in person yet, but we have a coffee date on our calendars for some time this fall when we’re both in the same region of the country. She’s someone I reach out to at least weekly, and I respect her deeply.

She was joking, of course — our friendship was never in question. But the thought stuck with me ⤵

How many of us have strained relationships because of America’s current political situation?

How many of us are hiding because of it?

I do. I have.

I don’t want to hide anymore.

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If you know me in real life, you know I have a strong Southern accent and only use the occasional swear word. My kids have Bible names. I’ve been homeschooling for 14 years. We live in a dry household. I worked in evangelical Christian churches for over 15 years and was very outspoken about what I thought was my faith at the time. And now, because in many circles, certain kinds of faith have become inexplicably intertwined with a particular political side in the US (I still don’t know how or why), people assume they know how I’m voting without ever broaching the topic with me. Because of my past, most people see me as either a Republican, a Christian fundamentalist, a conservative, or all three.

I am none of those.

Travel changed me. Books changed me. People changed me.

Here’s how it happened ⤵

Our first year living overseas in Australia and hearing women talk about their lives cracked open the belief that I knew the “right” way to do most things. The first time I traveled to states outside of the Southeast and heard people talk about what mattered to them, I realized I was starting to have more questions than answers. And during my first summer living and working in New England, I started being able to see the conditioning I’d been given from a very young age ~ and little by little, I started letting it go.

I was deeply impacted by the books I was reading and the conversations I was having about them — books like Born a Crime, American Dirt & Small Great Things & The Hate U Give, I Am Restored (Lecrae), The Shack, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, Martin Luther King Jr on Leadership, Eat Pray Love, You Can Heal Your Life, Untamed, Between the Mountain and the Sky, Simple Abundance, Everything Happens for a Reason and Other Lies I’ve Loved, and many others.

Then, when I spent a few months working on a hunting camp in South Texas and came face to face daily with Border Patrol raids and people who talked about the individuals coming into our country as if they were bags of garbage rather than human beings, I broke completely. Specifically, I’ll never forget the day my husband met a man from Honduras who asked for a bottle of water and I saw how deeply it affected him. That moment changed both of us forever.

There was no going back after that.

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Since then, I’ve kept traveling. Kept learning. Kept listening.

I’m still listening. (which is why I’m writing about this today)

To be fair though, this change started a long time ago — long before I had traveled thousands of miles to visit 49/50 US states, long before I had read so many books. I voted for Obama. Twice. I remember voting for Hillary and feeling like it was a big secret. I voted for Biden. I was a Bernie Sanders fan. And I knew I’d be voting for Kamala when her candidacy was only a rumor.

We are all a product of where we’ve been and what we’ve let into our hearts and minds. I am no exception.

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I also choose to respect you if you disagree with me, and I hope you’ll do the same. I recognize this is difficult right now with online algorithms feeding us more and more of whatever side we’re on and demonizing the other. But I want to try.

I’m not sure I’m ready to publicly share everything about why my family left Christian fundamentalism, but I think that story is independent of this one. What I am ready to share is why I’m voting the way I’m voting. Not to try to get you to vote a certain way. Not to change your mind if you’ve already made it up. And certainly not to politicize this email group in any way or use this space as my personal soapbox (something I promised I would never do).

I’m sharing because I want you to feel safe sharing, too.

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If you’re interested, here’s why Kamala has my vote this time⤵

Decency is important to me.

“God, a God who asked us to “speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves” and to “defend the rights of the poor and needy.” This is where I learned that “faith” is”

~ Kamala Harris, The Truths We Hold

Inclusion is important to me.

“In the years to come, what matters most is that we see ourselves in one another's struggles.”

~ Kamala Harris, The Truths We Hold

Diversity is important to me.

“For as long as ours has been a nation of immigrants, we have been a nation that fears immigrants. Fear of the other is woven into the fabric of our American culture, and unscrupulous people in power have exploited that fear in pursuit of political advantage.”

~ Kamala Harris, The Truths We Hold

Civility is important to me.

“Years from now, our children and our grandchildren will look up and lock eyes with us. They will ask us where we were when the stakes were so high. They will ask us what it was like. I don't want us to just tell them how we felt. I want us to tell them what we did.”

~ Kamala Harris, The Truths We Hold

Humanity is important to me.

“Democracy just cannot flourish amid fear. Liberty cannot bloom amid hate. Justice cannot take root amid rage. America must get to work. . . . We must dissent from the indifference. We must dissent from the apathy. We must dissent from the fear, the hatred, and the mistrust.”

~ Kamala Harris, The Truths We Hold

There are also other issues I care about, of course — clean energy and climate change, healthcare, women’s rights, mental health, small businesses, student debt, room and respect for ideas different from my own, the list goes on.

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That’s me — what about you?

If you have a moment, I would love for you to write back.

I want to know what’s important to you, what lights you up, what makes you excited about the person you’re voting for, what makes you feel alive. I want to know what I’m missing, what else I need to think about, what’s important for our future.

I won’t debate you ~ I’ll only send a simple “thank you” when I’ve read your message. Because I will be grateful that you shared, grateful that you didn’t just unsubscribe because you disagree with me, grateful that we can still talk about books and life and all the other things for weeks and weeks to come.

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No matter what, I believe we can still be friends.

Politicians will come and go. We’ll be the ones living in the aftermath. I want to live in a country where who we vote for doesn’t damage relationships and break families. I want to live in a country where I don’t have to be afraid of losing business, family members, friends, or respect from people I care about because of who I’m voting for.

I want to live in a place where we can talk about big dreams, good books, and life with people without even thinking about who they’re voting for.

I believe we can.

I believe we’re better than silos and echo chambers. I believe we’re better than mindless algorithm following. I believe in our humanity.

I believe in us.

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No matter who you’re voting for, I’m here — and next Friday I’ll be back in the email group chatting with you about the bazillion other things we like to talk about in this space — none of which have to do with any elections or political mumbo jumbo. I only hope my story today gives you the courage to share your own whenever you want and to lean into the people you love, no matter what.

I hope you know you have a friend in me.

No matter what.

Sending love your way,

Celeste

💛

[This post contains only my own opinions and views and in no way reflects any opinions, views, or endorsements of or from my clients, associates, colleagues, or affiliates.]